I'd say (years of sales) that the first thing to be cautious of is trying to be the right thing for everyone.
Next would be to know your audience.
Tom Newhall wrote:
1)The Aikido ExCo is an introduction to the basic principles and 2)techniques of Aikido, 3)a Japanese martial art that 4)employs circular motion and 4)blending in order 5)to control and subdue an opponent 6)without necessarily causing injury. 7)Aikido is built around concepts of openness, relaxation, and being able to respond to any attack. 8)As Aikido is not dependent on strength, it is suitable for all ages and physiques.
Generally, when I send out an ad or write a paper, I start with something (such as your ad), then I very cynically consider everything about it. By doing this, I polish...So, don't get offended.
Number 1) (I numbered your ad) What as a customer does "basic principals" mean? It doesn't mean anything.
2)I think that's the diamond here.
3)Why, as a customer, would I care that it's Japanese?
4)As a customer, what does that mean?
5)As a customer, whta does that mean?
6)Why should I care? Who's the customer you're going for?
7)Way to advanced.
8)I think that's promising more than a person can swallow.
Advertise what you're selling. Are you advertising techniques? Then sell it...
"Want to know ten of the basic techniques you'll find in every MA?
Sign up for this course."
Just because you've got the space, doesn't mean you should use it.
Advertising an effective MA:
"Practice responses to twenty of the most common attacks, sign up for this course."
When you sell your product for people who are wanting self-defence and then they get there to find that they've got to work on rolls like an old lady for an hour, they lose interest.
The only person who can really write your ad for you is you. You know what you're selling.
What's the one thing that makes Aikido important to you?
Don't get caught up in the numbers. If you're a real-estate agent and you're doing an open-house, you want to get rid of most of the people who walk through the door because they're the nosy-neighbors and the people who can't afford it.
Your ad should do the same thing. If you're keeping fifteen people, ask those fifteen why they stayed--maybe you're selling something you didn't realize you were selling.
Just my opinion.