on the pressure points, i found a lot of my friends can't feel them also, most of them are women. I don't think it's so rare, maybe it's women's handicap
on gender, i'm a women, but on the mat i'd sincerely ask the guys to grip hard, throw hard. Not because of baggage, but i want to learn this thing the right way.
Abas, if you get chided for being to hard.. i suppose that's the price u get for being right. I think women are suppose to train just the same way as men. No pain, no gain. (*if not, why take martial arts in the first place?*)