I do however think that whatever the case maybe, nage at 1st kyu and above must be able to handle the extreme most resistance from any uke. Otherwise, his/her belt isn't worth anything and he/she might be an embarrasment to the sensei. What do you think?
I completely agree with you. (However, I would not fault the student for the sensei's embarrasment [if you are not implying this, then forgive my presumption]. I would fault the sensei for not teaching them or for not creating an atmoshpere to teach them appropriately.)
I'm at 4th kyu and I am just now training to really understand how to really make techniques more effective. My sempai, no matter the gender, make sure I do it that way. (And after about two years in aikido the responses and variations to one technique are revealing themselves.) It should be that way. Otherwise it would be dance. What's the point if I can't do the technique against a stronger attacker? That's the whole point for me taking aikido. Yeah, I don't want to be at 1st kyu stuck in a katatetori attack and not being able to do shihonage.
Is your concern is that this is not happening in your dojo?
I guess I just want to let you know there are women out there in this world who appreciate the help (as long as it is not patronizing or ego-inflating).