I really like it when I get a strong grip because it really forces me to do proper technique. Even though I am a large woman, I still don't have the upper body strength to muscle my way out of grips.
However, I have found that sometimes I need to be directed by my more advanced and usually male partners in getting out of the grip. Otherwise, it just becomes a frustrating exchange and no training occurs. This might be the problem. They are getting frustrated. Yes, there is a way to get out but if you can't explain help them then your behaviour gets interpreted as counter-productive.
The degree which this should be done depends on the skill level of your female partners. If they are totally new, give them time to get the form of the technique. As they learn take the resistance up a degree, but don't totally lock out on them. As suggested ask them if they want a little more resistance, then be prepared to help how to do the technique right. If you don't know yourself (I don't know your skill level), then sensei should do the direction.
From experience, I usually appreciate my higher ranking male partners to provide resistance to their grips as long as the attitude is positive and non-ego inflating. Otherwise, I ask them to quit it since I have plenty of partners who are helpful.