Cyclone, I'm curious as to where exactly is your dojo? Is it actually in Multimedia University?
Anyway, as Andy mentioned earlier, it might be a good idea to scout around at other dojos. See how their training is conducted. If its about the same, chances are you're not doing the technique properly. And that my friend, will not come from overnight practice. But if you see a marked difference in the applicability of techniques in the different dojos, then perhaps you might want to consider changing senseis.
Btw, I have no problems whether or not uke grabs my hand strongly or loosely in order to perform a shihonage technique. (unless of course you're doing it for warm ups). As nage, i'll immediately grab uke's hand with my free hand and twist it to break his balance as I move my body. By then, uke no longer would have his hand grabbing mine. Instead I'll have both of my hands grabbing his. Furthermore, you're unlikely to throw him down if your body and center isn't close to his. (eg you're actually infront of him or behind him).
Err sorry to ask this here, but Kamal, did I meet you in Singapore AAF seminar? Can I have your email if you are that Kamal?