If your aikido doesn't work, it is because it doesn't work. On of a very convincing reason it is probably you didn't do it well. Failure to work your aikido technique is not an ukes fault how stupid or jerk he/she is.
As far as self responsibility is concerned, I believe everyone is 100% responsible for everything occurs in their life. If you have lot of bigmacs and is overweight , it is because you chose that to happen. If one can't find job, it is because he didn't find it yet or didn't seriously look for it. If one cant graduate from the school he is in, it is because one chose not to graduate. One may argue whether he didn't choose that consciously or else but subconsciously he did it, that's why it was appeared in his life , but of course such topic must be discussed elsewhere.