Amelia Smith wrote:
To me, some sense of self or ego is necessary to function in the world, and the spiritual goal is not so much destruction of that ego as non-attachment to that outer self.
What I'm trying to say is that for a lot of us, especially women, becoming more self-confident is a better step towards letting go of ego attachment than indulging in "self-doubt"
I'd agree with this for everyone (not just for women). I think getting rid of ego is also getting rid of false modesty. No-one knows everything (or even anything!) If we have no ego, we should be able to recognise that we may be wrong and also to recognise that others may be equally wrong. Thus it is more of a 'whole human family' attitude rather than them deffering to us, or us deffering to them. Being without an ego I believe is very different from sacrificing aspects of yourself to please or help others, or of doing everything for yourself. There is a happy 'medium' that a psychologically healthy mind can reach, but really it is not a medium, it is just seperate and unrelated to the two extremes of selflessness and selfishness.
Most of us want to love and to feel loved, that's pretty natural to me. When the balance is upset in either way it is not good for us (we become bitter, or we become nasty). Not sure if this really conflicts with the original thesis though.