Most instructors are not trained for and should not function as social workers.
totally agree, which is why I was making the clear distinction between behavior outside the dojo and inside. If the initial post of this thread had stated that the problems were with the lad in the dojo and the aikiweb mess was just the final straw, I would have had no problem.
One question did occur to me concerning the "choice" and "my dojo so my rules" posts, do these dojos have defined criteria of behavior expected outside the dojo and written disciplinary procedures? The reason I'm asking is that (and I may be in error here) an ad-hoc dismissal of a student may leave grounds for the dojo being sued. I think European law on civil rights may impinge on what you can and can't do and how, even in a single dojo and I don't know how the US freedom of speech would act. Hopefully, I'm just starting at shadows.
For the record, I'd like to thank everyone for the discussion to date, I think we've managed a surprising level of civility.