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Old 12-29-2005, 09:34 AM   #27
Jorge Garcia
Dojo: Shudokan School of Aikido
Location: Houston
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 608
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Re: High level power abuse

Thanks Frank for giving a little more detail. I think that there will still be a division on this thread as to whether what you saw was abuse or not. It was clearly more than a "brotherly hug that went on a wee bit too long". To some, it may now depend on whether it was a one time thing or on ongoing secret thing. I know this, that if both parties are married and their spouses find out about this, even if it's a one time thing, they aren't going to be having a party for either of them afterward. The least that would happen as a repercussion is that
1) Somebody wouldn't be allowed to go to the dojo anymore.
2) A divorce would follow. (The slippery slope )
3) An ugly confrontation in the dojo from "her" husband.
4) One or both would come to their senses and back off.

Could it affect the dojo? Sure it could. Did your teacher make a mistake? He sure did. It looks to me like yours isn't the only shoulder she has cried on and maybe when she was crying on his, they crossed the line.
I would be interested in knowing where this all ends up but I would say that if it bothered you, you should at least let the instructor know it bothered you. That might at least put a stop to him- that is if he wants to stay married. If this stays secret, there is a high probability that it will continue. In either case, I would think of a new place to train. You can always do what some are saying and keep quiet and go your way but I think that may bother you more than the other choice.
Best wishes,

Last edited by Jorge Garcia : 12-29-2005 at 09:37 AM.

"It is the philosophy that gives meaning to the method of training."
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