OK, whoah. I was all nodding along and humming and hemming at various points in this thread until I hit upon this line:
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I am indeed trying to speak with her but she is avoiding me, go figure. I will indeed think very carefully about speaking with Sensei if and when I do.
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OK, I know nothing of your situation. But, here's my take on it:
Jim is right:
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If the instructor and the student are adults and want to have an affair, that's their business. If they use the dojo to facilitate the affair, then it becomes dojo business.
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I might also add: if you're trying to speak with her but she's avoiding you, that's YOUR business. I do not know your situation other than what you've offered, but I would back away from any entanglement involving you, your Sensei, and/or the woman in question.
Just as a general rule: you don't want to make other people's business, your business...it's the makings for bad blood.
Now, if your Sensei is using the dojo as some sort of meeting-point, then yes: a talk with Sensei IS in order.
But if you saw them commit an indiscretion ONCE, well...! That's a little different.
To me, the question arises in often, how obvious, and to what degree is Sensei being indiscreet.
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It affects my training and my training of the lower belts
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But, how? That's what I don't get.
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PS I have only been doing Aikido for just over 3 years…..did I hit some chord with the "un-Aiki" comment??
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It is a term often misused to criticize all sorts of behaviours or actions. Just do a search of "un-aiki" in the aikiweb fora, to get a sense of what I mean.