I think it would be really tough to train in a gender-segregated environment, especially because there's so much to be gained from working out with different types of people. The vast majority of the students where I currently train are male, and if I had to only train with other women, I'd be sitting on the side a lot of the time. I guess I can understand the belief that sex might be a distraction in training, but in my experience, it's better to just work through the attractions and flirtations (assuming they don't get out of hand) so that you can learn to keep your center in those situations. Your reluctant/violent training partner sounds like he has some serious issues to deal with! I've trained with some men who seem to be too rough, and some of them are just like that all the time, but I think we can sense when that roughness is agravated by some hostility to women, or to training with women. You can't change the larger culture (on your own, anyway), but hopefully you can create a group in which you'll be able to train/practice as you would like, and be appropriately challenged.
P.S. I don't know where you're from, but I have been considering taking a trip to a predominantly Muslim country at some point, and I was thinking about visiting an aikido dojo or two when I go. I'd appreciate any advice. PM me if you'd like.