Got my first one!
So yesterday was my fifth (maybe sixth, I get confused because I got to get on the mat when I went to observe) class.... and I've only been doing rolls from the floor. Well, yesterday there were several more people than usual, and all of them way more advanced than I (I think the least experienced was ikkyu (First Kyu - sp?))
So sensei wants to work on some crazy reversal thing that I don't know the name of... basically it starts with a overhand strike to the head, nage steps outside of uke, takes the arm and turns it to bring uke to the ground.... no problem, i've done this before.
However, the reversal is where uke (the original uke) starts to go down, and if nage is applying too much pressure on the arm, he brings his arm down underneath nage and rolls him forward... sometimes with quite a bit of force... all depends on how much force there was to start with.
Well I see sensei demonstrate this on someone else and I'm thinking "Today is the day aikido kills me..."
Sensei must have seen the look on my face because she looked at me and said "You don't have to do this if you aren't comfortable with it.." So basically that means I can't refuse
So my partner is being really cool about me almost pissing my pants... we're going real slow, getting right to the point where I would normally roll and stopping so I can make sure my feet and shoulders are all lined up... stuff like that.
So finally I'm just like "screw it" and basically just hurl myself over his shoulder into my first standing-front-roll ever.
Next thing I know I'm standing up on the other side of the mat in between sensei and one of the other students, who themselves had just finished a technique.
I was completely stunned... I didn't feel anything, hear anything, nothing... I was just on the other side of the mat.
So sensei and the other student are looking at me like "Uhhh... get out of our way..." but I'm just standing there in awe... completely spacing out until finally sensei says "Nice roll, now you have to learn to stay on your side of the mat" (joking)
It was only then that I realized how long I had been standing there, and it was super embarrassing because I was trying not to look like a complete newbie in front of the more advanced students, several of whom I was meeting for the first time.
P.S. My rolls after that were NOT as good, and I felt them, and heard them (as in, hearing each part of your body that hits individually "WAP WAP WAP"), and so did everyone else, but at least I'm over the fear of it