We do practice Ma-ai. Proper distance. This varies time to time but proper distance is the back side of your and your partners hands touching eachother. This is an extended tegatana.
I dont think the amount of energy or the direction or distance of an attack matters much at all. I very rarely get a staight lunging attack. Thats too easy right? The uke has to make the nage work for it, but during practice not hindering it. Sometimes is ok though. If your sensitivity is right then you can make any movement your partner makes into a very effective technique. I cant do this all the time though. When I can feel this is when I am relaxed, free of muscle tension and have proper breathing control. What I try to do is swallow the attack. Follow it until it falls away from you and catch it so it doesnt land hard. Very soft is all you need to be. Although I guess it depends on my emotions at the time. Sometimes I like the big ones but you dont really need it.
If your ukemi is good enough and if your sensitivity is in tune you dont even need the tobi. Just follow it until the end and roll quietly away. True ukemi really has nothing to do with falling at all. After learning kaishi I realized this. Ukemi is complete devotion. Ukemi is a very powerful attack.
This is how I feel now. Tomorrow could be completely different.
What is Ki?