Re: committed attack/sensitive ukemi paradox
I am not qualified enough to answer your question, but I really appreciate the concept you present, it gives me much to think about.
I think when you attack you should be thinking through to your next response and then rolling with it. If you give a strong well intentioned attack and nage responds correctly, then I would think that you would be slightly off balance or in a bad position which would require you to regain or reposition, which gives nage something to consider for the next move.
I think this is really the key to the relationship that is established in the dance we call irimi nage.
My experience parallel yours for sure!
I would say I never try and take ukemi, but I am always trying to recover from my first failed attack, it is nage's responsibility to respond appropriately and control to the point of ukemi. so, i think, if you are being honest in your ukemi, that is is seamless from attack to the next attack attempt until you are negated down to the ground and nage controls. So it would be seamless in that regard.
Probably didn't even come close to where you were going with this!