No worries David. I'm treating this as a training blog, and whenever anyone wants to comment, feel free.
Tonight we had open class and I thought I'd not get any drills in, but after class I asked a dojomate who used to do wing chun (sp?) if he wanted to hit me and he was more than happy to do so.
I think "getting creamed" is the expression to use for what happened.
I found myself looking away, turning away and down and generally trying not to be where I was. Deflecting was never even an option. No, actually I did try --- he just used my deflection to get in.
If I was doing aikido for self defense purposes I would be very worried now. As it is, I suddenly had a glimpse of a much bigger challenge than what I've met before.
Funny thing is, even when I was very clearly getting overwhelmed, it didn't really bother me very much. I mean, I was reacting in less than helpful ways, but I wasn't feeling frustrated by that. I did wonder if I should have asked my partner to take it a bit easier, but then I thought, what purpose would that serve? Other than making me nice and comfy again? probably it's just something that has to be experienced again and again until it's not so overwhelming anymore.