Rob Liberti wrote:
"budo" probably does require shame. But, our version of it, might not "require" it. The problem, as I see it is that we inappropriately shame children so much that that's the hammer and everything looks like a nail. Maybe if we tried "respect"?! - Rob
Why do you immediately think that shame and respect are in opposition to each other? Having respect for someone else or yourself can happen at the same time as feeling shameful. Try reaching out and finding out what aspect of shame might be valuable in budo practice instead of immediately going to the far end.
I have felt, over the years, shameful at times for example, for giving less than I knew I could in practice. Or another example, there were times (long ago) when I enjoyed dominating another person on the mat. I still feel a sense of shame about that... but, at the same time I respect myself and others for being human and trying to do our best and learning along the way. In a way, it's part of compassion.
I agree with Peter and David's thoughts about teachers that set up a "spiritual" and/or "theraputic" agenda in the dojo. It's a budo dojo, not a clinical setting where professional quality group therapy should take place under the guidance of a competent, responsible leader . Although that sort of growth, etc. can and does happen in the dojo. It's more an outcome of the functional dynamic of a good training enviornment. This is usually a result of the example and teaching of a good leader and teacher. It should be our goal, in my opinion. That is part of the michi of the practice, if in fact the goal is budo rather than just the study of efficient technique.
Good discussion, thanks for starting it David.