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Old 07-25-2005, 02:43 PM   #1
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Anonymous User
Unhappy Aggressive aikidoka

I have been training for a little over three months. I have some physical-cognitive issues that the chief instructor at our dojo and I discussed a bit before I began training. We did not discuss them too much because sensei (rightly) didn't want me or anyone else focusing on what the 'rest of the world' considers my disabilities. Sensei's and my other teachers' and sempai's support in my learning process and, everybody's, is truly amazing and I'm very moved by it.

Because of the extra issues I'm dealing with, sensei has recommended a different focus for me than "standard", i.e., "form" rather than "speed.", at least for now. Sometimes he will break techniques up into half-parts or quarter-parts for me, until I can put them together properly. When I am training opposite *most* people at the dojo, I can ask them to slow down their attacks as uke and counters as nage -- as my reactions/reflexes are still building up, and they will happily do so.

There are a few training partners who will start out at a speed I can't handle -- after one throw, I'll gently ask them to slow down so I can take ukemi at a speed I can manage, and they *mostly* do.

However, there is one aikidoka who, no matter how many times I ask them, will still attack me at full speed when they are nage, hit me rather hard when we are doing techniques requiring atemi (NOT the way sensei trains us!), and force me to take hard-and-fast falls when I am uke for this person.

I have read some other advice on here about situations dealing with aggressive people inside the dojo, and have applied it to some success with this person.

My problem is that this person also frequently attacks me *outside* of the dojo, when he sees me, with an attack that I'm "supposed" to counter with aikido. Recently they has done so with a frying pan and a knife, at different times. I told the person after the frying pan incident that I did not want to train with them unless a) we were in class or b) I was in keikogi *and* we had *both* agreed to it. A week later (this week) the person used a bread knife like a bokken and swung it at me, again outside class, when I'd asked them not to. I have not been training long enough to know tanto dori, and in any case could not have done it -- did not know what I could have done in the position I was in. When I called them on it, they said "it was just a *joke*, they can't stand people with no sense of humor."

I discussed earlier, similar problems with sensei obliquely...he said that if someone needed to be aggressive/wanted to be aggressive, and/or rough, it's their problem not mine, it was ok to bow out and switch partners at the change and/or not train with the person. I do that as much as I can. Especially since twice in the last two weeks this aikidoka has done techniques on me with sufficent force ('Oh, that's not right...*this* is what sensei showed *me*...) to injure me enough that I had to sit out for the rest of the class, and the next class too.

I have been "hired" to carpool with this person to practice...that is where they are getting opportunity for these "attacks", as I come to their house to pick them up.

I am trying not to be a "wimp", since I'm also older than this perosn it seems like I 'should" know how to handle myself with them or something.

I guess what I'm wondering is, should I tell sensei about this person's behavior -- in the hope that sensei can give me some ideas on how to deal with it outside class? I'm starting to have nightmares about it and it's really bothering me.

Could really use some help here. I can't break the contract I signed to do transport and it won't be over for until December.

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