Re: BS in fellow aikidoka
I get a similar issue though the guys explain it very gently to me at my club. I've also done other martial arts before (so I know I could just smack 'em if I wanted), plus I do a little weights training so I'm quite strong. It can be quite frustrating at times when you're doing a technique OK, then they crank on the grip that bit more to test your technique out and it all goes wrong (or not at all).
I also get the "You're strong, but I'm stronger than you" stuff too. But I've learnt it's because the correct technique should work regardless of strength, so perhaps we're missing something. Now being a girl, perhaps you can play the humour card and ask as nice as possible for the answer?
Seems to work for me!