Mike Sigman wrote:
Out of curiosity, can you explain to me exactly *what* you've been looking for? ... what specifically interests you and why?".
I really don't think I can explain "exactly" what I've been looking for all these years... If I could, then I probably would be much better at "doing" it than I am.
What specifically interests me is to continue to practice and grow along lines that my teachers have led me. "Great Faith Tempered With Great Doubt..." along with a good practice system that includes a lot of testing each other to be sure we're really doing what we intend and the growing ability to do just one thing at a time. Each "one thing" then combines with another "one thing" and they become just one thing that is very dynamic and yet subtle. Taking the opponent's structure, including the mental aspects, making it very difficult for the opponent to do anything that is not predictable and having an ambush waiting. Adding just that four ounces of my force into the opponent's forces along with gravity so that they do not have any useful power to put in my direction but instead spend theirs and my appropriate bit in their own collapse of structure and will. Taking in information while creating techniques through intuitive, creative decision making and actualizing this intent in the most simple and efficient way while doing as little harm as possible is what interests me.
A lot of words that do not come close to what really interests me in this practice. And as for "Why"?... the only answer that makes sense to me is... because that's part of who I am.
I appreciate your interest and share the passion for the search.