I've heard stories of people who, when doing randori at a seminar, berate their ukes if they actually grab or hit them.
"What are you doing!?"
"You're not supposed to grab me"
On the other side of the coin, I was at a seminar in Salt Lake City and was doing a very shortened tsuki irimi nage with a small woman who probably weighed all of 130 lbs. After the initial warm up, I really honestly tried to knock her block off, with her consent of course, and her timing and positioning were very good. She never touched me and I hit the mat every time. I've practiced with people from the aforementioned style but never anyone like a 6th dan. This girl was not from that stlye.
In my opinion, the "aiki-fruity" style is a valid one, however, it seems to me that it's like trying to learn analytical algebra or calculus before learning basic math. It would be much more difficult, IMO, to get to that ideal following that path, but without first hand experience training in that style, it's really all just conjecture anyways.
As always, it's better to just be true to yourself and train hard.