otto lam wrote:
what do you mean by "be careful what you wish for"?
Well, a part of me still misses her years later so you can't call me totally objective.
One thing about aikido, is the activity between people in the group is very interactive and trusting your partner is required. You can go visit a church service and leave not really getting to know anyone. You can visit a dojo and by the end of class have good sense of what is like and about.
This can make it tough on the mat when you are having problems off the mat and takes a lot of self-awareness and control.
What the hell, I am a bit of a romantic so I think it is possible to find true love in Aikido as long as you recognize Hero worship and putting someone on a pedestal is not it. I have had the hero worship done to me a few times and fortunately for my own self-respect, it turns out to be a real turn-off because it feels false. All rules people come up with I don't think are relevant if it is a genuine relationship that builds outside of the dojo. The problems and traps exist when the relationship is only happening because of dynamics in the dojo - admiring someone's graceful movement on the mat, imagining a closeness that is anymore than the good feeling of interaction that goes with good training, etc.
I think you should get a Harley and ride around the continent visiting dojos.
I knew one guy that did that. Though the girlfriend he found was actually someone he met at a local bar rather than at the dojo he was visiting.