Re: Staying soft.
Chris, I cant say for certian that unless uke and nage are attacking full speed that you will be happy, but it could be the way we are communicating. If you are intrested I am in Visalia, about 40 min south of Fresno, and could give you directions to us. I can't promise that you will be happy with what you see, but so far nobody has complained about the way we do things. If you are intrested/moderately intrested then send me an email, private message, or just post, and i'll give you any information that you want. We are reality based and have a number of officers/prison guards and sensei was a Marine, cop, and bouncer for the last 20 years, so we get top notch training.
One thing to keep in mind, resistance has unexpected consequences, everything from nage falling on uke.