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Old 05-17-2005, 08:23 AM   #7
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Anonymous User
Re: Physical contact vs. "no-touch" policy

It can be a little vague as what a "bad" touch can be as it can also depend upon context.

I was on the receiving end of some predatory behaviour from someone at our dojo recently. He had in a very roundabout sort of way asked me out on a date (I am not single by the way), and ran off before I could give an answer. During the warm-up of the class, he keeps turning round and staring directly at me. The following class, he shows up late. He makes an extra special effort to sit next to me during the grading taking place and rather than watch the grading stares at the side of my head. Then he spends the rest of the class trying to practice with me as much as possible. When I grab his arm for practice, he keeps stopping, taking hold of my hand and replacing back on his wrist. Which he has not ever done before and is totally an excuse to try and hold hands. He was also very lacking in respect and control toward me that day. One can only guess, this sad individual, doesn't get any other contact with women.

So, what he actually did could be classed as legitimate. What he had done as a package was harrassment.

BTW: I complained to Sensei, who is taking care of the problem and the asssistant instructors are being fantastically supportive.

I suppose my point is also, that it needs to be made clear that the dojo is a place of training and not a hook-up joint! And respect for ALL is essential to prevent lowering the tone. If you can't trust or respect the person you are training with (and vice versa) then it makes things very difficult.
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