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Old 05-14-2005, 02:10 AM   #23
"Original Anon"
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Anonymous User
Re: The Real World: How to Reconcile?

Yes, when I escaped, I did leave her alone in the bathroom, with that lunatic right in her hallway. No, that was not my "bravest" moment, and that bothers me to this day. Though from the point when she locked herself in the bathroom, denying me any sanctuary, protecting her was not exactly high on my agenda. Perhaps I am trying too hard to justify my conduct but I was in immediate danger at that point, and she at least had a barrier and a cell phone.

For what it is worth, when I was outside of the building, I was already on the line with a 911 dispatcher and as soon I saw the guy leave and I rejoined her in the apartment, locked/deadbolted/chained/etc, safe, and waited for the police to show up. He just harassed her though the bathroom door on that day, and then left. Nobody was hurt, other than ego...

(It is worth pointing out that I was talking to a friend on the phone up until the guy busted in. When I suddenly hung up, probably to call 911, he realized something wasn't right, and left work and was rushing over to help.)

For those who are interested in how the story ends, the police do nothing for several months. She moves to a new location, he finds her, and consistently breaks into her new apartment with a crowbar and harrasses he. One day, she woke up to find him standing over her bed stairing at her! Eventually he vandalized her car, broke in, stole her pepper spray. The next day, he caught her at home and even gave her a few bruises (not strikes, but he restrained her with his hands so he could "talk" to her). The police make a full report, but the district attorney decided that photographs of bruises, the prior police reports, physical damage to her apartment and car, and even a suicide note left in her car was NOT enough evidence to prosecute the creep. The best they could do was to tell her to file a personal protection order, which he violated a few months later, and was FINALLY arrested for. He was sentenced to 5 months in prison, and is not allowed to leave the state for another five years.

She has now moved to another state, and we no longer talk (too much history/drama with her makes for a non-peaceful mind). Anyway, that is how the story ends up. I would give more information, but I wish to stay anonymous both to protect her privacy, and my identity, as well as my other friend from the mugging. Besides this forum, where I can remain anonymous, I have not discussed this with anyone but those trusted people close to me. I haven't even talked about it to to my friends at my dojo.

For me, Aikido isn't really about using martial self defense or anything (though I am sure I have daydreamed a bit about such things). Aikido probably does help in a such martial encounter, but that has never been the issue. To me, it is about finding balance, and applying that towards everything in my life. Ultimately, this encounter, unpleasant though it was, has given me the unique perspective of knowing I may be about to die at another person's hostility.

I think that that life has deeper spiritual struggles to overcome than the superficial stuff that bothers us everyday. This presents the challenge of overcoming it and still finding peace. I will probably think about this encounter for the rest of my life, but I feel the harsh dose of reality may bring me closer to finding a true more inner peace.

Maybe I am babbling now, but I do appreciate ALL of the wisdom and input that has been shared in this thread and thank you for your willingness to share your thoughts with me. I look forward to perhaps one day sharing the mat with any of you
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