Originally posted by Magma
I don't mind sharing, because while I bear the people no ill will (I hope they find what they are looking for), this isn't anything that I would refrain from saying in their presence.
Brian, the time on the mats was probably between 2 and 5 years for a group of 2nd, 3rd, and 4th kyus. The length of time the dojos have been together and they have been attending my dojo is about 7 months.
The time on the mats for those now changing dojos and leaving with the visitors also goes from 2 to 4 years, and reaches all the way to first kyu. And in fact, attitudes among these members had been changing already, though their leaving is still a punch-in-the-gut kind of surprise.
It is... revealing, to say the least. There is nothing like adversity to show the character of a person.
Thanx for the reponse Tim!
I'm glad to see that yudansha aren't included in this group! I remember the transition from mudansha to yudansha involved more than just a change in belt color. With the added responsibilities that came with being a shodan, a dramatic change in attitude also came with that rank. I began to view the art from a totally different perspective...but that's a totally different topic!
I would definitely encourage these folks to visit other dojos, train in as many seminars as they can, experience as many different styles of aikido possible. It's been my personal experience that there's NOTHING more humbling than to attend a seminar from a different style and find yourself totally lost with what's being taught. Even if they 'beleive' that the particular style giving the seminar is weaker or inferior to theirs, they will soon find themselves feeling pretty helpless. This is an extremely good character building/mind expanding experience!
Similar situations have occurred in my dojo. Sensei strongly encourages these students (...just short of kicking them out) to go and train at the dojo (or switch to the other martial art) which they perceive to be 'better'. A few of these students have come back after a few months when they realized that the other style was actually no 'better' than what they were being taught originally.
You really have no choice but to ask them to leave (or just let them go!), they are the proverbial 'rotten apple' and will poison other students. It does them no good by staying either ...they're bitter, close-minded and are not learning a thing! You're actually helping them by giving them some time away from the dojo to thoroughly think about what's troubling them.
Well, that my 2 cents worth! I wish you the best of luck with whatever comes of this situation!