Rob Liberti wrote:
About the the nuts and bolts of equitability, when someone is toxic to many members of either gender in the dojo, what is the best way to deal with them? (I know that when it is the teacher, you leave.) But what about when it is some new student? Or what about some senior student? What about a visitor? Any ideas?
These days I just make the boundaries of behaviour clear to any junior or visiting student who chooses to break them with "We don't do this here because ...", or if senior, "You're hurting me by doing ... can you go slower / easier?". If they continue to cause a problem, I step back when partnering them and wait for the dialogue to begin. Usually my sensei notices and we discuss the situation later. After that, it's down to sensei what happens, but I sure wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of him!
If I were the instructor, I'd probably tell a persistent offender that I expected better behaviour from them, pointing out what and why if necessary. If it was not apparent that the student was making any efforts in this direction next time I saw them, I'd just tell them to get off my mat
If folk won't respect the system, they miss out on the fun of training.