Aikido back in the house...
 

Folks,
I'm interested to know how you have utilised your training in your own home. Of course, I'm not referring to physical techniques :) but was wondering specifically if and how you manoeuvre your own children within the framework of your Aikido teaching and experience [I've got two boys who can often become a little er... *lively* at times]. I like to run a fairly respectful ship when it comes to my sons but during recent practise I had cause to wonder if any of it [the talk of centering, hara, sphericity and all the rest] could really be used in context outside of the somewhat insular realms of the dojo.

Do you think there's any scope to utilise those much coveted tenets of Aikido in family situations? I'm not saying my boys are troublesome, just typically boisterous and interested in seeking their father's limits! I'm optimistic I can maybe factor in the wider nature of centering but I'm definitely gonna need to give it some thought! Therefore any ideas would be well received!

What do you think. If anyone has thoughts on using their experience in this [or any similar situations] I'd be greatly appreciative of the expertise.

Respects! :do:

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

hagakure and book of the five rings (as well as a lot of other books) mention that budo is a way of life. the techniques and concepts should all be used outside the dojo as well as inside.
i have tried this (not as much with the mental stuff-hey im weak) but walking in good upright posture etc. oh and i knee walk when im stocking up the beer fridges at work.
i must say it does feel wierd, but perhaps that is because i live in britain in the 2000's and not edo japan where i truly wish to be.
:p

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Trying to remain calm and centered is always a help in our daily lives. (of course)
Raising kids is a true test of that very thing....the benefits of training become clear when you think about it.
Raised three daughters, I wish I had been more centered in the daily dealings with them....
less emotional response, better control over the impulsiveness of speech, the list goes on, not to mention the benefits of a brisk yonkyo ! :)
Lan

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Enter, blend, and redirect works better than force, resistance, and power struggles.

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

For me, I find it's easy to be immovable as it were] but often less easy to blend with the likes of petty misbehaviours. I mean, more often that not it seems as if I'm trying to meet force with force and face things head-on rather than using blending and re-direction.

I appreciate that often what we see in the physical domain of Aikido doesn't translate into the wider picture of how we live our lives but well, it's possible surely? I'm optimistic at any rate! :)

Respects!

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Would you say there was any clear cut way that this methodology is translatable into non-physical situations? Have you ever used these central values we focus upon when executing techniques to resolve non-physical conflicts?

I use my own case of kids misbehaving, but it could equally well apply to a schoolteacher and an agressive student or an employee and a harassing manager etc...

Respects!

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

...I'm getting an image of that! ROFL!! :)

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Terry Dobson's book "Giving In to Get Your Way: Aikido in Everyday Life" is IMO the best explanation of applying these concepts to non-physical situations. As Dobson notes in the revised Preface, it was written when "systems" were in vogue, so you have to read past the "Attack-tics" terminology, but blending, entering, redirecting, getting off the line, it's all in there.

And what's more, it's about conflict resolution, not avoiding confrontation. A lot of what I read about aikido in everyday life is really about the latter, even though avoiding confrontation is a pretty regular part of Japanese culture, and not really unique to aikido.

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

I will check that out. Thanks!
Yep, you're exactly right, there's no contradiction between aikido as an art of harmony and not avoiding confrontation. Good one, thank you!

Respects!

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Personally and professionally on a daily basis.

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Ive been know to use nikkyo to punish my kids, yup.....wait a mineut I dont have any kids >.<

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

I've been known to use nikkyo to punish other people's kids. :D

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Wow, that's excellent. Can you elaborate for me on how the more esoteric Aikido values are applied to those non-physical situations? I'm still having a little trouble getting my head around it properly. Any examples you can give would be very beneficial in helping my understanding.

Respects!

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Do a websearch on Aiki-Solutions and Aiki-Extensions.

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

Every second of my short time training has been about taking aikido principles of the mat and into the rest of my life. I can truthfully say that the longer I train the fewer conflicts I cause, the fewer confrontations become conflicts and I couldn't say HOW that happens, it just does.
Wendy Palmer Sensei has a program called Concious Embodiment which uses aikido principles for not aikidoka to learn how to work with boundaries, self-centering, and acceptance of the "attack" which has also been extrememly valuable in my development.
Both these processes are entirely experiential, results come from Dedicated Practice...

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

I cleaned out my refrigarator the other day. Seiza and Kiza worked wonders for me. I made sure to tell the other guys in my dojo about the experience and that they should try it out. But all they did was inquire on when I could come over and do theirs.

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

I follow similar lines of practice to yours off the mat. I agree that certainly with this mindset, confrontations become fewer and are resolved more amicably but for me, some situations [kids esp.] seem too emotionally charged to get any focus on the likes of blending and centering...

Respects!

Re: Aikido back in the house...
 

You've evidently had considerable experience and have put together some very insightful information on the site. Thanks for this - an excellent starting point for further reading and research...

Respects!