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-   -   student seems to not like you as a person (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21402)

user 32 06-07-2012 09:40 AM

student seems to not like you as a person
 
Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?

Chris Li 06-07-2012 12:49 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 310620)
Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?

Sure, nobody gets along with everybody, not even Morihei Ueshiba.

Best,

Chris

Janet Rosen 06-07-2012 01:00 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 310620)
Does anyone have any experience with a student who responds well to other teachers and doesn't seem to like you or the way that you teach?

Yep. Life is like that, people are like that.

If you examine your own practice, teaching, etc and see no specific thing you wish to change as a result of that examination, then it's his problem, not your's.

gregstec 06-07-2012 04:47 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
As had been said, not everyone will get along - however, in a teacher student relationship, there will be no transmission of knowledge unless both student and teacher have a mutual respect. As the teacher, if there are others you are having a problem with, look within for the problem - but if it is just one individual, then I would inquiry as to why there is a problem; it just might be a misunderstanding of some sort - good luck!

Greg

Rob Watson 06-07-2012 04:52 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
I find a great many folk are too stuck inside their own heads to notice the the effect they have on others. Wait a minute ... are we talking about me?

morph4me 06-08-2012 06:01 AM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
If I had a problem with a particular teacher, I wouldn't go to his or her class or I'd find another place to train. If someone has a problem with me, I try to let it remain their problem, I have enough of my own.

JJF 06-08-2012 06:12 AM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
If I for some reason get p..... off by somebody on the mat (or off) I try to use it as a chance to learn something about myself. Sometimes I fail.. sometimes I actually learn something of value.

Usually I find that what I don't like about them is something that reflects back on me, so it's a great chance to get a more varied look upon one self.

It takes an effort though which again requires energy and time, and sometimes it's better to just accept the fact that we can't always get along with everybody.

Since the problem here is different then try not to let it bother you too much. Unless this individual is stirring up a bad feeling towards you among the other students, then just treat him/her with respect and as little interaction as possible. If on the other hand it has a negative effect on the class or the dojo then go with Greg's suggestion and ask (in the proper setting) if there is something you have done or said that for some reason makes him hostile towards you.

Good luck

Mary Eastland 06-10-2012 05:43 AM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
If a student likes me or not doesn't matter as much as how I treat that student. If a student does not respond well to me I am not resposible for their behavior only my own. I can ask for certain things and see what happens.

Noob Point of View 06-12-2012 11:21 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
could this situation just be a big misunderstanding? like a communication a cultural or that sort of misunderstanding problem. maybe? i hope it is something like a misunderstanding that can be easily clear up. good luck

sakumeikan 06-13-2012 02:04 AM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
Dear User 32/others,
Why waste time thinking about such matters?Who cares if somebody likes you or not?Just get on with the business of training.If you cannot get on with somebody just ignore the person.Simple.
Cheers, Joe,

Dazzler 06-13-2012 08:35 AM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
Quote:

Joe Curran wrote: (Post 310856)
Dear User 32/others,
Why waste time thinking about such matters?Who cares if somebody likes you or not?Just get on with the business of training.If you cannot get on with somebody just ignore the person.Simple.
Cheers, Joe,

Did somebody say something? Can't hear a thing....:D

anony 02-06-2013 10:54 PM

Re: student seems to not like you as a person
 
Don't mean to revive old posts,
ignoring someone in your class can be awkward. I have tried it.
You never can really get it out of your mind and others will pick up on it.
My experience has been to struggle, think about whether my own sensei would approve of me abandoning this kohai, the answer was always no, and I would have changes of heart.
And struggle some more.

One aikidoka was actually abusive when shihan was away and it rattled me. But there was a childishness about him and in the long run I could feel a sort of affection for him.

I bet parents have this same problem with their kids all the time, feel their kids don't like them.

Well, ignoring things they do is maybe good after all but not ignoring and not abandoning them.

I don't like to ignore people. I want to try to talk to them straight without patronizing or intimidating.

It works sometimes, when I am one with the Tao and safe with tigers. That's a place to set our sights.


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