AikiWeb Aikido Forums

AikiWeb Aikido Forums (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/index.php)
-   Humor (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19909)

GMaroda 06-10-2011 08:59 AM

My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
I've dabbled with a few martial arts through my life. One day, it occurred to me my experience mirrored that of romantic relationships.

You see, one day this movie about a kid learning karate came out. And well, children get to a certain age and they want to experiment. They want to emulate. So, I joined karate. That didn't last long. It was pretty much the first kiss. The uncomfortable, unexperienced but certainly common experience growing up. It, of course, didn't last long.

Move on to High School. Messing around with friends who have done other arts. Nothing serious, no real classes. Just sparring, drills, having fun. Casual dating. Nothing lasting longer than a date or two.

Then college comes and I meet a girl named Aikido. It's wonderful. She's sweet, smart, skilled, and pretty. But we really only date during the school semester, as I leave for home during summers. And after school? Well, we have our own lives. It's sad and we try a long distance relationship but it's just not going to work out.

Nothing much for awhile, but I do hear of someone called Historical European Martial Arts on the internet. Unfortunately, they don't live nearby and long distance relationships didn't work before. Still, I try travelling a bit but it's just not worth it. We stay friends though.

Then I meet the other major woman in my life: pentjak silat. Oh my goodness. She is wild! The whole relationship is just crazy. Crazy fun. But mostly crazy. We fight, break up, get back together. Needless to say there are reasons I keep going back, despite the craziness. Wink wink, nudge nudge. But it can't last. Finally there's one last big fight and I storm out.

After moping for awhile I go back out on the market and discover Aikido is back around. We tentatively meet back up and the sparks fly again. And this time, I really think we can make this work. Oh, there's difficulty. My job gets in the way and I might have to move. But we do what we can when we can and she can go with me this time.

This just might be the one! ;)

Larry Cuvin 06-10-2011 11:18 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Just get a ring already!

Linda Eskin 06-10-2011 11:29 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Love it.

I wish you two many happy years together. :-)

Garth Jones 06-10-2011 01:16 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Greg,

Very cool!

For me aikido has always been my one and only.... Well, there was a brief fling with kendo, but she went back to Japan after a semester.

phitruong 06-10-2011 04:48 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
so if you spent quite a bit of intimate time with a hot babe Iaido while does Aikido, would that make it a threesome? :D

abraxis 06-10-2011 09:04 PM

My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Phi Truong wrote: (Post 285238)
so if you spent quite a bit of intimate time with a hot babe Iaido while does Aikido, would that make it a threesome? :D

If you are happy with your girlfriend Aikido you should be faithful, loyal and true to her.
Do not go looking to add some hot babe like Iaido into the bed you’ve made—you may find out you're not the only guy in that bed.:freaky:

Shadowfax 06-11-2011 06:39 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Love it Gregg! I wish the two of you many happy years together. :D

Myself. I had no intentions of looking for a relationship. Martial arts were definitely not my type. Then along came aikido and totally swept me off my feet.

Come to think of it... that's a lot like how I met my husband. Fortunately aikido isn't going to up and die on me in 5 years.

Mikemac 06-11-2011 09:07 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
In a word......Brilliant!

Tony Wagstaffe 06-11-2011 12:30 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
I suppose it's a bit like finding the one you are comfortable with as it gets a bit hard with all the towing and frowing....... Playing the field gets a bit hard and getting the names mixed up can be a bit fraught and hairy one would imagine :D . It's been known for one or two to wake up minus their "plumbing" in the morning after being drugged!! Not the best of situations :hypno:
Sitting down to pee is not a good option in my opinion unless your pins are a bit naff :D

abraxis 06-11-2011 02:32 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Attilio Anthony John Wagstaffe wrote: (Post 285256)
I suppose it's a bit like finding the one you are comfortable with as it gets a bit hard with all the towing and frowing....... Playing the field gets a bit hard and getting the names mixed up can be a bit fraught and hairy one would imagine :D . It's been known for one or two to wake up minus their "plumbing" in the morning after being drugged!! Not the best of situations :hypno:
Sitting down to pee is not a good option in my opinion unless your pins are a bit naff :D

GEEZ! Where do you do your dating, Tony?
The East Bronx? Compton? Glasgow?!!

graham christian 06-11-2011 07:17 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Very good analogy. Don't forget the nagging though. It's the shiho-nagging that gets me.

G.

Tony Wagstaffe 06-12-2011 06:47 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Rudy Ternbach wrote: (Post 285258)
GEEZ! Where do you do your dating, Tony?
The East Bronx? Compton? Glasgow?!!

No, just my disgusting youth whilst in service for Her Majesty....;) :D

Tony Wagstaffe 06-12-2011 06:48 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Graham Christian wrote: (Post 285260)
Very good analogy. Don't forget the nagging though. It's the shiho-nagging that gets me.

G.

:D

Diana Frese 06-12-2011 07:25 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Hmm, you've got me thinking. Instead of arguing with my husband I should just grab his wrist and try shiho nage. From the verbal to the physical in one easy step. My assistant always told the new students "You don't get to grab AND throw" but in this case it seems like the best way to regain marital harmony....

abraxis 06-12-2011 07:27 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Attilio Anthony John Wagstaffe wrote: (Post 285268)
No, just my disgusting youth whilst in service for Her Majesty....;) :D

I totally forgot about "service for Her Majesty". Just another reason we colonial rebels wanted her family out of our lives.:D;)

Tony Wagstaffe 06-12-2011 07:49 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Rudy Ternbach wrote: (Post 285271)
I totally forgot about "service for Her Majesty". Just another reason we colonial rebels wanted her family out of our lives.:D;)

She's not a bad old stick really, just born into it..... Brings in the tourism I suppose. I prefer Prince Philip and his gaffs, typical ex matelot... and look where it got him!!.....:D

Tony Wagstaffe 06-12-2011 07:53 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Diana Frese wrote: (Post 285270)
Hmm, you've got me thinking. Instead of arguing with my husband I should just grab his wrist and try shiho nage. From the verbal to the physical in one easy step. My assistant always told the new students "You don't get to grab AND throw" but in this case it seems like the best way to regain marital harmony....

Me and the wife seldom argue, just beat the Sh1t out of each other, then shake hands...........:D
After all she is a 3rd Dan and still packs a wallop :)

graham christian 06-12-2011 10:17 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Attilio Anthony John Wagstaffe wrote: (Post 285273)
Me and the wife seldom argue, just beat the Sh1t out of each other, then shake hands...........:D
After all she is a 3rd Dan and still packs a wallop :)

Tony. Here's some marriage guidance Aikido style, a very simple bedroom guide:

Start with some icky-oohhhhs. Finish with a sankyo very much.

Do you have any tips for the mother in law though as I havn't reached that level.

G.

Tony Wagstaffe 06-12-2011 12:11 PM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Graham Christian wrote: (Post 285284)
Tony. Here's some marriage guidance Aikido style, a very simple bedroom guide:

Start with some icky-oohhhhs. Finish with a sankyo very much.

Do you have any tips for the mother in law though as I havn't reached that level.

G.

Mine is known as the outlaw, it's my nickname for her at 84 years old and hard as nails, we get on famously..... :cool: :D ;)

Tony Wagstaffe 06-13-2011 03:35 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
Quote:

Diana Frese wrote: (Post 285270)
Hmm, you've got me thinking. Instead of arguing with my husband I should just grab his wrist and try shiho nage. From the verbal to the physical in one easy step. My assistant always told the new students "You don't get to grab AND throw" but in this case it seems like the best way to regain marital harmony....

And martial harmony Dianne. My wife Catherine just thumps me, I :D cower in mock fear and she belts me all the more!!......

Diana Frese 06-13-2011 04:48 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
all in the spirit of :ai: :ki: :D I think I will try that ;) Please thank her for me. I'll just say I'm trying to practice some of the karate he showed me other years!:)

OwlMatt 06-16-2011 06:52 AM

Re: My Girlfriend Theory of Martial Arts
 
I don't usually use this forum to hype my blog, but I wrote a blog post in January all about this same martial arts/relationships analogy:

http://newbiedeshi.blogspot.com/2011...y-martial.html

I've got taekwondo, a hot little thing who's lots of fun but a little bit of an airhead and probably too young for me, and aikido, a less exciting, less glamourous girl who reads books without pictures and makes really god potato salad. Eventually I'm going to have to stop flirting with both and pick one.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:43 AM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.