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Hi? 04-15-2011 01:39 PM

Thinking about leaving
I have been doing aikido for the past 8 years and I really used to enjoy it but recently I think that I am only staying because I like the people there and not because of the actual aikido.

I'm worried that I am starting to stop my friends from learning and I don't want to do that.

The thing is I have been signed up for a competition soon and I don't want to let my embu partner down, who is really looking forward to competing. And I don't know how I would tell her or my sensei, if I was to quit.

I don't know if this is just a phase or if I am just getting bored of it. Any advice?

Michael Hackett 04-15-2011 04:30 PM

Re: Thinking about leaving
If it were me and I really intended to quit training, I would tell my partner and sensei of my plans before the competition and would honor my obligation to my partner and compete with him to the best of my ability. Then I would quit, win, lose or draw.

Janet Rosen 04-15-2011 07:30 PM

Re: Thinking about leaving
I would absolutely honor my commitments AND keep my mouth shut and a smile on my face until after fulfilling them. Then have a chat with my teacher out of respect rather than disappearing leaving him to wonder.

JO 04-15-2011 07:42 PM

Re: Thinking about leaving
Honor your commitments. I had someone drop out on me just before my shodan, after saying he would help me practice. I was left with a bunch of well intentioned low kyus to train with that didn't quite have the ukemi skills for me to really go all out.

However, you should discuss it with them before. Your embu partner may want to find someone else who's heart is more into it.

Helle Buvik 04-15-2011 10:01 PM

Re: Thinking about leaving
Do you wish to stop with the aikido because you don't enjoy doing it, if so, what is it you find missing in your training now that was there before?

or because you feel you are not advancing enough to help your friends improve their skills and want to stop so they can instead work with someone presumed to be "better" than you feel you are?

if something is missing from practice, then try to figure out what that was, and if there is a way for you to get that aspect back. If it's because you feel you dont measure up to what you feel you should be, then it's definitely something to discuss with your sensei and friends. Likely they'll not feel that you are holding them back and still want to keep training with you.

Mary Eastland 04-16-2011 07:24 AM

Re: Thinking about leaving
You could have an honest conversation with both of them. You are having feelings, not facts. The truth is always the best thing. If your heart is not in your training your teacher and partner can already feel it.

Marc Abrams 04-16-2011 09:11 AM

Re: Thinking about leaving
Walls usually appear in front of major breakthroughs. That has been my experience at least.

Good Luck!

Marc Abrams

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