Aggressive Children
Onegaishimasu. How many of you have been injured by an aggressive child student while demonstrating technique?, and what was your reaction?
In gassho, Mark |
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I stopped and told him that it was just practice and not a lot of people could afford to be injured. It wasn't competition or anything and it wasn't even sparring. Lastly, I told him that if I really wanted anyone hurt...I could just take out an eye or something...:cool: |
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Practice your ukemi state so that he can't injure you. That said, I have been injured by an aggressive adult... and the only reason why is because I allowed myself to be in a weak position. Hmm... maybe you can tell him practice is tit for tat. You take care of my body, and I take care of yours.
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I do remember working with a very big-for-his-age teen who was determined to rearrange my fingers and break my arm. No amount of explaining would convince him that "old folks" often break as opposed to bend. I finally had to bite him with my dentures and then beat him senseless with my prostate... ;) :o
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Encountering the aggressive practitioner---from any of the teacher, student, or peer perspectives---is an interesting topic. Seeing how you personally respond when injured by any of the above is also interesting...
... but since Mark doesn't seem to post frivolously, I'm curious about the circumstances that led to this thread's creation. Is there something worth sharing, Mark? |
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We don't allow kids under 18 into class. Pretty happy about that.
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But then again as 'abasan' said "tits for tat" oh I mean "tit for tat"...:hypno: One-Aiki, Iking |
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Glad you didn't understand, Enrique... It's an "old guy" thing (and strictly medical)... ;)
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quote< and then beat him senseless with my prostate... >
Whoa!! Now THAT'S a mental picture I didn't need....:) Mental bleach, where is the mental bleach..... LOL:) Lan |
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In gassho, Mark |
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I've had 13 and 15 year olds get frustrated and try to hurt me in the process of a lock. Say, katatedori gyaku hanmi kaiten lock from seiza. The guy fails to take my balance and winds up too far away to take me down. So he starts chopping the back of my tricep with his tegatana to try and force me down. It was more annoying than it was painful because of our relative sizes, but I was pretty irritated. This orneriness, in my experience, tends to come up with kids between 13 and 15, used to training with other kids they can just overpower, but who get frustrated when they move up a bit and start training with bigger uke. In the long run, some wind up quitting when they can't get uke to fall the way they used to. The better kids slow down, pay attention and start learning technique.
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Adults suffer the same frustrations when their techniques fail to work against someone larger, more muscular or resisting.
Side note I don't think aggression is bad. I think it was someone here who said Aggression stems from the word aggress, to move forward. Controlled aggression or perhaps aggression without ego or malicious intent is fine in my books. Not sure how well that translates to children. I know it's another argument but I would prefer my daughter defend herself up to and including hitting back rathe than taking it and telling the teacher. |
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Onegaishimasu. Saotome shihan once pointed out the aggression of a growing tree and the equal aggression of the bark to stop it. Is it an idea of omote/ura?
In gassho, Mark |
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Is the age difference a factor in your thought process? |
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A former sensei of mine would make anyone who was too aggressive, resistant, or belligerent become uke for the entire class, demonstrate the technique over and over and over again until uke was exhausted and then ask if the uke understood how the technique was properly done. Also he would ask the other students if they had any questions about how the technique was done and if there were, demonstrate the technique again until everyone understood.
David |
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A former sensei of mine would make anyone who was too aggressive, resistant, or belligerent uke, demonstrate the technique (without malice or anger) over and over and over again until uke was exhausted and then ask if the uke understood how the technique was properly done. In this manner he restored harmony to the class.
David |
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In gassho, Mark |
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Whether or not that is true, what a wonderful gift this situation is for you! I'll wait for your answer to the last question---and until I get back from a meal with my family---before exploring deeper. |
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I accepted the tsuki, cheap and late at is was;) , and accepted her anger about my expression. Nothing came of it except for the positive consequences of my holding my proverbial ground. I knew better than she did what was at the bottom of the well on that particular day, and we weren't going there. |
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Sometimes it's hard to know what baggage people bring to each encounter. Then, there may be only an instant to respond. Missing the strike and subsequently accepting it may very well have been the perfect response to the situation---particularly the perfect aikido response to the situation. Keeping this state, to me, is a major objective of aikido training. Similarly too, Mark's response may have been the perfect response to his own situation. To be honestly upset by a situation and then turn that feeling into a "teachable moment" for the class also sounds wonderful. My question to Mark, though, is whether he feels that what I describe is what occurred, or whether he is now dealing with a sense of regret. |
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As to culture...well. people are people, no matter what. Big,small.tall,short, ankle high,angry indian..... Quote:
O'Sensei said,"( in aikido sic.), it is necessary to accept 90% of an opponents force". In so doing many things are exposed in the moment. There is no shame in allowing that exposure before turning the other cheek. In fact, it was deeply enlivening. I learned a lot about my own intention in interaction by allowing that suki that arise: I realized the level of my own tolerance Quote:
Thanks, jen |
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I might restate what you offered: Remaining within our practice, experiencing ourselves this way, we are free to act. Consider a hypothetical situation: It's late at night and the neighbors are noisy. I shout out, "Keep it down!" Did I commit an error in acting as I did---meaning, more specifically, did I act outside of my aikido practice to respond that way? From one perspective, one could easily speculate that I saw that my neighbors had a problem and I made it my business to act to fix them, all without perfect knowledge; but, is that what actually happened? It's a tricky matter that has my interest... And it's one reason I'm pestering Mark for more details---he's his own best witness to his own state of mind. :) |
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