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-   -   How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo? (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23037)

kivawolfspeaker 10-14-2013 12:04 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Jason Rudolph wrote: (Post 330923)
Well Jen I happen to have a child on the spectrum of Autism and many issues have come up from time to time with child care providers and at school so I for one do occasionally check my phone and everyone who has been around a while knows exactly why. I have not noticed that to be an issue however at the dojo with the rank and file, at least during the classes I have attended or taught. So obviously with the appropriate permission and understanding it may not be so bad.

I see Jason, thank you for the explanation. :)

Peter Boylan 10-14-2013 12:27 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
One thing I have learned to do in visiting various dojo in Japan is to focus on being respectful and polite when I go into a new dojo. You have to be aware and watch what the other people in the dojo are doing and strive to emulate their respectful behavior. Just going in and doing what you know is not enough. You have to work at being respectful and actively observe and figure out what is appropriate for the dojo you are in. It's not always easy, but it is necessary.

kivawolfspeaker 10-14-2013 12:49 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
No, in those cases, it is not disrespectful, but an explanation should be given (not to everyone per say but . . ) and it should be on either vibrate or silent, which with the only person I've seen, had it that way :)

Bill Danosky 10-15-2013 08:25 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Wayne Dyer says there are legions of people out there just WAITING for something to be offended by.

So rudeness can also be thought of as a public service, if you twist it around enough. You're welcome, everybody. If anyone needs any other rationalizations, just let me know.

lbb 10-15-2013 07:47 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Bill Danosky wrote: (Post 330953)
Wayne Dyer says there are legions of people out there just WAITING for something to be offended by.

Although I suppose it might seem that way sometimes, he's completely wrong.

Bill Danosky 10-16-2013 10:37 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Mary Malmros wrote: (Post 330980)
Although I suppose it might seem that way sometimes, he's completely wrong.

WHAT? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT????

Just kidding. It seems like a foregone conclusion, but if your environment keeps those "waiting to be offended" types away from you, I'm very happy for you. Some of us are dealing with them rather often. I don't mind- since I am a conflict resolution pro, they are my job security. Dr. Dyer has sold a few trillion books on the subject. He's considered to be an authority by a lot of people. YMMV

lbb 10-16-2013 11:05 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Bill Danosky wrote: (Post 331001)
YMMV

It does. While there are offensensitive (sorry, can't claim that one) people out there, I question the validity of both "legions" and "just waiting". That sounds like projection to me. I can see how encountering two or three of people who are easily provoked would tend to stand out in one's mind, but let's not fall into the same error of turning an occasional stand-out event into every other person doing it all the time. Colorful exaggerations sell lots of books, I'm sure, but they're not good for one's mental balance :D

Also (and more to the point here, I think), the fact that someone, somewhere, may have exaggerated their sense of being offended over something vaguely related to what's going on here and now, does not mean that the real live human being standing in front of you doesn't have a legitimate complaint that should be seriously considered. The person in front of you isn't a trend or "legions", so why not at least start by taking what they say at face value, rather than treating them as some category of imaginary villains lurking in the bushes waiting to be offended?

Bill Danosky 10-16-2013 12:01 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Mary Malmros wrote: (Post 331005)
the fact that someone, somewhere, may have exaggerated their sense of being offended over something vaguely related to what's going on here and now, does not mean that the real live human being standing in front of you doesn't have a legitimate complaint that should be seriously considered. The person in front of you isn't a trend or "legions", so why not at least start by taking what they say at face value, rather than treating them as some category of imaginary villains lurking in the bushes waiting to be offended?

Gee, Mary. It sounds like you got offended by that.

Pauliina Lievonen 10-16-2013 12:44 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Bill Danosky wrote: (Post 331009)
Gee, Mary. It sounds like you got offended by that.

Actually, to me, what she wrote sounds just sensible. Start by taking what people say at face value, check if maybe they do have a legitimate complaint and only if that isn't so, label the person as " too sensitive".

...just occurred to me that you might just be joking, in that case, never mind. :)

Pauliina

Bill Danosky 10-16-2013 01:31 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Pauliina Lievonen wrote: (Post 331012)
...just occurred to me that you might just be joking, in that case, never mind. :)

Pauliina

Yes, I was. It occurs to me that Mary may have been having me on, too, in which case I obviously fell for it.
;)

lbb 10-17-2013 07:13 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Bill Danosky wrote: (Post 331015)
Yes, I was. It occurs to me that Mary may have been having me on, too, in which case I obviously fell for it.
;)

I wasn't, but I also recognize that not many people are willing to engage this issue. I tend not to go there myself unless someone else goes there first.

Bill Danosky 10-17-2013 03:38 PM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Mary Malmros wrote: (Post 331052)
I wasn't, but I also recognize that not many people are willing to engage this issue. I tend not to go there myself unless someone else goes there first.

I like engaging issues. Which one are we talking about?

lbb 10-18-2013 08:16 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Bill Danosky wrote: (Post 331080)
I like engaging issues. Which one are we talking about?

It's a digression and not suitable for hijacking this thread with.

Bill Danosky 10-18-2013 09:34 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
Quote:

Mary Malmros wrote: (Post 331101)
It's a digression and not suitable for hijacking this thread with.

Hey, it's all Aikido, but if you say so....

amoeba 10-22-2013 10:16 AM

Re: How respectful is the atmosphere in your dojo?
 
I think in Europe (at least in Germany, Scandinavia and France - can't really speak for the rest), training's generally a lot less formal than in the States or Japan.

I'd say our place has quite a respectful atmosphere - nobodys putting anybody down, everyone shows genuine interest in what the teacher's showing, people are working together (not blocking)...

Formality-wise, I guess we're somewhere in the middle (for Germany. I guess in the States we'd count as horribly informal). We bow in and out, we say onegaishimasu and thank you - the latter sometimes in German, sometimes in Japanese. We try to come in on time and if we're late, we sit, wait for the teacher to acknowledge us and bow in. I've trained in other dojos where that, for instance, isn't done, you just join. We sit in seiza or crosslegged, don't lean against the wall, don't point our feet at the shomen.

Most of the rest, though - nobody really cares how we stand when the teacher explains something, whatever's comfortable as long as we're watching and listening. Hands on hips or crossed arms aren't considered disrespectful (though I know better than to do it on an Endo seminar :D ). The teacher normally goes around explaining things to couples all the time, the rest of us is just supposed to train on. Otherwise, you'd never get to train at all. Oh, and we don't line up according to rank.
Also, we call our teacher by his first name (on and off the mat), never use the word sensei (unless talking about japanese teachers) whoever has the longest legs tends to sit in front in the car, regardless of rank - generally, off the mat, rank isn't considered important at all.


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