What to do when someone engages you...
So, what to do? A few days ago a guy was all I'm gonna beat ya all up. My friend was kinda scared. But I didn't have the guts to confront him about thinking he's all mighty.
What should I do when he again tries something like that? Should I stand up for my friend? What would you do? Thanks, Marko |
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I don't know how the law stands in your part of the woods, but any unwanted physical contact is classed as common assault in the UK and is punishable by law..... DNA and all that? Anything above that is actual bodily harm, then grevious bodily harm, manslaughter, murder......... Just stay cool as you say across the pond Always a tricky one...:cool: Tony |
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We got into it when we were playing table tennis. That guy comes and he's all like I wanna play get lost you guys. I agree with you saying how troubling the results be, but if he wants to fight even after that should i warn him that our Sensei told us not to fight and make sure that someone hears.
What do you think of this plan? Thank you for all the reply's, Marko |
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Bad plan. The moment you mention "sensei", the guy is either aware of your training and planning how to make you look foolish, or aware of your training, and planning how to outsmart it.
Either way...if I *need* to fight, then I *need* all my weapons, including surprise if I should throw the fellow on his head. I'm not going to tell him in advance what I'm going to do. Best, Ron (over a table tennis game?? You're kidding right? Hand him the paddles and walk away!) |
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Hand him the paddles and leave (with the balls in your pocket). :cool:
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:straightf Much preferable to the other way (the paddle in your pocket and...):straightf
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YIKES!
Did I start that??? :D B, R |
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Although in this situation (because of the trivialness of the event) I would most likely agree with handing the paddles over, normally I don't cave to a-holes who pick on the (presumed) weak. I got in a fight in a similar situation, where some "tough guys" were doing almost the same thing to a handicapped kid (except it was with a video game in an arcade and they were trying to get the controller away from him). That I could not turn away from, and I didn't. But I also tend to look at situations as whether I can handle them or not, and what the legal standpoint would be as well. Show me a jury that would convict me of defending a handicapped kid from a group of bullies if they decided to press charges. I can't tell you exactly what to do in your situation, as I don't believe that the world is black and white enough to have simple answers and I wasn't there to witness it (not that I don't trust your account, but eye-witness accounts are statistically inaccurate), but I certainly would not resort to violence, as I don't condone starting fights, only defending yourself or others should the need arise. |
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On the other hand...one idiot (one of my best friends) got his nose broken and he learned something from it. Yet on another hand, some folks don't learn well like that. I knew folks who took the Joe Pesci approach (his character in Casino), and they only know how to escalate. I think it's usually best to let the dog enjoy his bark. |
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So far everyone I've done this to has cracked and found something better to do. |
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As usual, I agree with Ron--never threaten with having studied MA, you'll just be mocked. On the other hand, there's this bit of advertising: http://www.break.com/usercontent/200...ER-459551.html
(Completely psyched out his opponent.) |
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*edit* I can't stop watching it, I find it sooo amusing! *edit* |
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If he invades your space in an agressive manner DROP HIM. Other wise put your pride on the shelf, lay the paddles on the table and go have a beer!
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Imo, it depends on how much you want to fight, 'cause the first response could be ,"Well, ya got the easy part over with, Sunshine. Talkin' about it."
Really, this falls in the "Mindset" area- be aware of your surroundings and don't get yourself into that situation. Don't go into unlit reas. If you see folks in front of you , cross the street, take a different direction/route, walkin to a lit are/store, get yourself around other people, etc All confrontatons should be considered serious, as they can escalate to be fatal real quickly. Any sign of being afraid or passive will enable the BG. This is that big gray area in the gun world too, as by law we're legally able to use lethal force only in a felony situation, which this is not. You might want to consider taser. You do not want to allow the Bg to "get in your face", as it's be proven that a BG with a knife can get to you and stab/cut you from 21 ft away, pretty much before you can correctly respond (OODA loop issue). If you do not want to fight, I'd suggest taking a fighting stance and assert that you don not want to fight, but prepare for the worse. Do not turn your back on a bg EVER( alot of MA techniques have you doing that). Main thing is to try and find out why this bg has singled you out, but know, they think they can take you. If they just don't like the way you look, you may have no choice but to fight, but of course, we try to avoid that at all costs. My policy is to be friendly to all, but have a plan to kill them. |
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Where I come from we try to make friends before committing ourselves to enmity. It may sound naive, but I don't cross the street if someone's walking toward me - I smile and catch their eye and say "hi". If you don't feel like you're in a position to be aggressively nice yet, you might consider working on developing that confidence as part of your aikido practise. I would disagree with GeneC about guns and tasers and having a plan to kill your neighbours and such ;) - but I would agree with his suggestion to think about why your putative bully has singled you out. Learning how to be popular and well-liked will stand you in better stead in the long run than learning how to be tough.
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Sounds like a case of bullying. Bullies have more at issue than a simple game of ping pong. Not always easy to deal with especially if you have to face them in the same environment everyday. Fighting of course should be the last resort, and you should try and de-escalate the situation as best you can. Ron's suggestion of walking away is a good one. If you have to come back the next day, and the next...and it continues to be an issue. Observe and see if there is something else going on that you might be able to skillfully solve to get this guy to stop.
Ping Pong is certainly not something on my high priority list to fight over. If you are cornered and have no other option but to fight and defend yourself, well then you must do that. but ego and honor are not reasons IMO to ever fight. |
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I'd like to post a link to something that a very clued-in guy once wrote on the subject of "engaging". Take a read of this and tell me what you think.
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If I must die, I would hope that I leave with my body, not before. |
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Regret can be laudanum for the soul; cloying and sometimes addictive.
I read the link to be more about consequences and choice; but I see your point, Joe. Regards, David |
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Someday, my wife will leave me or I will leave her.
Someday, I will leave my children or they will leave me. Someday, I will leave this house or this house will fall around me. Time does this. We leave as we entered. Living explicitly to keep what ultimately cannot be kept is one framework for decision making. Is it a good one? If someone chooses to do or not to do so as not to lose the chance to sleep in his house tonight, then that house is already his grave. Conversely, a jail cell can be paradise if you are free. I am dumbfounded to hear practitioners of budo say, "Think of what you have to lose," either in advance or in retrospect. This is not to say "Fight!" and this is not to say "Don't fight!" This is not to say "Be overly cautious" and this is not to say "Be reckless." This is to say do what needs to be done given your circumstances. Then, once that moment is gone, leave it, without regret, knowing that the consequences of both what you did and what you did not do truly are unknowable. The referenced link aside, let's return to the OP's situation. The moment passed, but he asks, essentially, what should he have done? Why is there any question at all? What is the source? Perhaps because he studied aikido and feels he didn't use it? Perhaps because he had an expectation of how things should have been and now he sees disparity? Is not one purpose of budo not to cut through this type of thinking? Ah, my first New Year's rambling... ;) |
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