Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
Then your problem is solved. The school may still have a problem, but you don't. You've kicked it upstairs to your sensei and he will handle the situation on behalf of the dojo. Now stop wringing your hands and gnashing your teeth. Teach your classes to the best of your ability and enjoy the experience. It's over, done, complete, finished.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
I have a small question (beating a dead horse is easy because it can't kick back) but does he wear a black belt in class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Now share your solution with the next teacher who is graced with his presence and so on and so forth. Eventually he will either avoid every teachers class, effectively removing himself from the dojo, or he will run up against someone who can get through to him and he will learn. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
I would like to thank everyone for their comments and allowing me to share my issue. I've come to what I think is the best approach. I take control of my own class and the aspects I do have control over. I think I'll suggest taking control and tightening up on the structures of our classes to my fellow teachers for the sake and safety of our other practitioners. He'll either have to conform to our system and rules, or he'll run out of classes that are welcoming to him.
Thanks for everyone's input. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Just allow him to train.If there are no issues about group insurance andas long as the student pays the fees and conducts him/herself in a proper manner whats the problem?As long as you/student are happy no problem. Cheers, Joe |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
I think you should film a class and show it to his previous sensei that he claimed gave him dan ranking. Find out if that behavior was accepted at the previous dojo. You will then have a better framework to work with. At the very least, you could get him into hot water with a sensei that he respects.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
You know, we had a student almost as bad as what you described come to our dojo a few times. Not only did he complain the mat fee was too expensive--he wanted to train about 8 days a month with us, but was part of another dojo and didn't want to officially "join" ours, which is fine, we have a few students like that, but the thing was sometimes he wouldn't pay or would say he didn't have enough money--he even tried to pay $10 for a $55 seminar! He would make all sort of excuses.
He wouldn't take ukemi often, sometimes he'd grapple if a higher ranking student tried to throw him, and being the only girl in our aikido program, he'd follow me around and try really hard to practice with me, even though my creep meter was going straight off the charts (it got so bad that my husband, whose classes he often came to, forbid me to practice with him and had one of our tougher/rougher live in students even interrupt him when he tried to practice with me and pair off with him), telling me about how the love of his life was Chinese so he knows all of our customs and stuff but then she left him, etc. Talk loudly and correct higher rank and lower rank alike, always arrived forty five late (we run an hour and a half classes) so he didn't have to exert himself, talk back to sensei about not doing the technique the way we were doing it because it wasn't how he was taught. He hasn't come back in a while, because he got told off in front of the class by my husband about his disrespectful behavior (after having multiple private talks with him), and our live in student became in charge of collecting his fees (and the student is a no-BS kind of guy.) Sometimes, in all honesty, these people will never learn. You have to decide if it's worth keeping him if he's scaring your female students. If they don't feel protected, and they leave, then you lost multiple people to that one person, and it is still a business. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
Wow, Josephine, you've trained in some pretty broken places.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
I've only trained in one dojo (although I've been to multiple seminars), so I'd say "place" rather than "places."
Every place has their ups and downs, so could you clarify as why you would consider where I train "broken"? You can't control people, but you can control how you react and who you allow into your doors. There are those that believe in non-confrontation no matter what, but when it becomes a question of safety and legal ramifications, and not allowing the dojo to become a sexual harassment suit in the making, then the answer is pretty clear to me as to what is the necessary steps to take. Everything else, with the disrespect and talking out of line, and arriving to class late, and not paying up--those are small things in comparison to having most female students become uncomfortable because they sense something from a guy who has been subtly harassing them. A book I had read also said that a lot of men won't see anything wrong with a guy, even if all the women around them feel like the guy is "creepy." Gut instinct is important, and there has to be a reason. I didn't particularly enjoy the fact that the guy tried to follow me into our apartment after a seminar (I own the building the dojo is in, thus the business aspect itself is important to me, and live upstairs with my husband in an apartment that is connected) and more than anything, that was probably the last straw. There are weirdos in every corner of the world. The Aikido community is not immune. The fact that we ended up getting someone like him was just a matter of chance and time, and when you have multiple people coming every week, whether visiting or joining or taking a seminar, you'd be an anomaly if you didn't at least run into a few. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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In the past we have had people(and still have some) who wished not to test for various reasons. They were allowed to participate and join our school and train. Those have actually been some of our most respectful members in the past. Sometimes it is financial reasons, they don't want to pay federation dues. Some don't care to gain rank, others simply have a black belt in another art and don't want to climb ranks anywhere but want to learn aikido. These people have always, and are welcome. We have one lady who's been with us for 7 years who has not taken a single test... she just doesn't want to join any federation or association. The problem guy in question has been made aware he dos not have to test or join our association to train with us. But he has stated he wants to test and climb the rank game. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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We had a Shihan visit last year at a seminar,(an 8th dan) our problem guy showed up and took this class like every other class. He was teaching in the class and following beginners around and instructing them. I was severely afraid that our Shihan would notice, it would be such an embarrassment for us. I took the guy aside quickly to remind him not to do this... and for the love of God not in front of our Shihan. He disagreed with the Shihan. He thinks what we do is BS, though he says it in a back-handed way and isn't aggressive with his opinion... but actions speak louder than words. I think you are right, and I don't think this is some one who will every learn from us. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
=)
Well he's no longer our problem, he's someone else's, hopefully. I'm curious as to why he is even bothering to learn at your dojo if he believes everything your dojo is doing is wrong, other than to stroke his own ego. I mean it seems kind of silly to be training in something you don't believe in, right? Unless your point is actually not to train and just point out the flaws in others. I don't believe you can change personality disorders. Behaviors certainly, habits, maybe, but the fundamental basics that makes the guy tick? I doubt it. If his incentives and motivations are wrong, there is nothing on this planet that will stop him from doing what he wants. You can shuffle him to another dojo, but he'll probably do the same thing too. I cringed when I read about how he acted at the seminar. Yikes. The guy's overstayed his welcome. |
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I hope he gets inspired to train in Aikido rather than quit. Not sure if that's realistic however. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
I still don't get it why, despite all the advice you have been given, you do not see that you are now the problem. Here you are restructuring your entire class just to accomodate someone who shows with consistent behavior that he will not comply. When I used to be a counselor, I would describe this guy as someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Such people cannot be argued with, they do not/cannot listen. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity - sound like someone you know??
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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How about doing us all a favour and moving house a hundred miles away from the awkward student or break the guys legs in a few places?? That way we do not to contend with this sort of rubbish.Talk about making a mountain out of a mole hill.The mind boggles at your ineptitude to deal with this bloke. Joe. |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
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I am a practicing, licensed psychologist. For us, making diagnosis without an actual assessment in simply unethical. Why don't we leave the psychological jargon out of this situation since it adds nothing useful here. Professional lexicons can easily be misused, such as in your post above. We can all agree that this person is not a positive influence in that dojo. We can all agree that the dojo is now regretting it's initial approach to this person. I think that it is quite unfair to say that this poster is now the problem. He is actively trying to adjust to the situation in a way that fits within the existing limitations of how that dojo operates. I frankly think that this poster is acting in a positive manner and will discover and learn how to best handle situations as a teacher. Regards, Marc Abrams |
Re: What do you do when a student is acting rudely in your class.
*slowly backs away from this thread*
Um. Wow. Lotta hostility on the internet these days. On an Aikido forum no less (eep... I'm guessing no one finds this as ironically funny as I do....) Agreed with Abrams-sensei, I think he's trying but not everyone has the same approach to dealing with problematic people, especially if they haven't had the misfortune to do so before. Everyone is different, and I thought it was good to hear about all the different roads and the consequences they have led to, and allowing him to pick and choose what would work for him and what wouldn't. All IMHO of course. |
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