Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Reminds me of this time I travelled over the top of Crete on a bus with a drunken British sailor as a travelling companion ... But oh, don't go there.
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Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
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Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Perhaps, we all delude ourselves by our thinking, in our training in some way. Some of us realize this at some point and face it, and other denial it, and some never do. I don't think we can expect people to put themselves in harms way to test their training, and skills. Though thinking about it, it would be great in a way, cause it would really weed out the poor, weak, unskilled and full of it instructors. The illusion what Ellis points to comes from the instructors. It comes from the top down, from people who don't seem themselves or skill realistically, and from those others who put them on those high pedestals. In essence you have the trickle down theory pertaining to miscomprehension and naive thinking of soft (and hard) Aikido and everything in between in all things and not just conflict resolution. For me that is because we don't take the life or death test, since we don't we really should look at ourselves realistically.
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Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Something I've become more conscious of in this Country since I began training in Aikido is the way in which most people here has a relatively high set-point of physical complacency.
The assumption that nothing bad should or will happen to me takes a number of forms. In one form, it allows one to entertain naive illusions or improbable ambition. It also may promote panic and extreme fear in the face of evidence that the world remains a dangerous place. Complacency about physical safety reflects a lot of different things. It might reflect a belief in community, or expectations based on an idealized view of community, for example. But I think in today's world it also reflects the existence of structures -- institutions -- that keep violence at more than arm's length. We don't even really need to think too hard about the burden of keeping this illusion on those who sacrifice in order to give it some semblance of reality. No different really than going into the store and buying a package of meat. Or going to the hospital to die, in a way. We are insulated. I heard a story recently about a vegetarian who decided she would serve turkey for Thanksgiving. Rather than buying a bird carcass, she raised a bird, and then slaughtered and prepared it. Her friends, who were not vegetarians, were appalled, and would not partake. I wonder whether naive or magical thinking about martial arts isn't just another version of the same kind of thing. We can do good without risking doing bad; there are good choices, not just least-bad ones. However, I also will admit it's been suggested in my hearing that I'm a cynic, which is to say, an idealist inverted. Regards, DH |
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Further reminds me of the Terry Dobson tale A Kind Word Turneth Away Wrath For those who would like to read or re-read it, Here ya go: http://www.aikidoofalamo.com/dobson.html That's a refreshing perspective. too. BTW the photo is from a San Francisco,CA dojo that was once affectionately referred to as the Rocky Horror Dojo and Skid Row Dojo. That group is now under the sponsorship of Kato Sensei. It was one of Terry's very last classes. Best |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Yes, I love that story of Terry's too. I also remember one night when Terry's girlfriend came into the dojo saying that a guy had just tried to grab her and when she shoved him away, he threw a bottle at her head, narrowly missing, and showering her with broken glass.
So Terry and I went next door to Great Jone's Street, and she pointed the guy out, and Terry grabbed him by the throat, and slammed him up against a wall, with the guy yelling, "That woman accosted me. She accosted me." The sheer absurdity of that made Terry pause and the man somehow broke free and darted down the street. Terry built for comfort, not for speed - (ie., he was fat), it was up to me, but the man had wings for feet, (though pure slime otherwise), and I couldn't catch him. Terry was very mad at himself - but only for letting the man slip through his fingers - because he had full intentions of loving him to death. |
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Aikido has connected me to the 'realness' in my life and has supported me in being real about myself, not someone else's idea about what conflict resolution means, but what it means for me to live in this body/personality in this life. That's it. I figured you'd have another anecdote to continue the balancing act. I just didn't know it would arrive so soon. Thanks for the story, jen |
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The famous subway story is about how someone else did it right, so to speak, no? I mean no disrespect, of course, and I would never hazzard judgment about the action; but, I am curious, Ellis, as to why the second story seems to be presented as a counterpoint to the first. Does an angry man having someone by the throat tell us what aikido is or should be, or does it tell us about the man who happens to practice aikido? |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Stories not prefaced are dangerously misleading. It by default romanizes ugly situations or situations of poor judgement into unjust moments of heroism. A heroism misunderstood my the naive who model it, and because the situation isn't identical to the one they romanize the naive find themselves faced with a situation they can't survive. Gee, you know as strong as it sounds, the word irresponsible or reckless may apply to the story.
It is a thing of mine, that the more responsible action comes from those in higher places, you know higher ranks, the admired, etc. and they shouldn't have gone off to assault and batter the other guy, a crime in itself. More reasonable action would have had been cooler and smarter/wiser heads prevailing. Myself, being a victim of bullies, I think I used the word bully-bait once to refer to myself, when your are out muscled or in a bad situation like someone throwing a beer bottle at you, they only thing you have is your wit from getting you rear-end kicked. You will be surprised how well witt and smart thinking works, over reactive force. Oh yea this is even more true if the bully (or another choice word) is bigger and stronger. Isn't there professional de-escalation and conflict resolution techniques that don't involve choking someone? Wouldn't point the guy out to the police be more effective, and the guy did run-off unpunished. Scared sure, but not punished. If we are to admire people or model after those of higher rank and stature, we should do so for the right reasons, because they did the right thing as uneventful as it is. The right reasons are for doing the more difficult thing right. And not for shooting from the hip or for knee jerk reactions that make good stories, but instead could lead to a more dangerous situation. Because that shooting from the hip with such anger models to others a behavior that is seen as acceptable, that really isn't acceptable. I use this as an example of the unrealistic views of those of "hard" Aikido that are equal to the unrealistic views of those that are considered "soft" Aikido. I don't think criticism and cynicism is a useful tool, I think education is the tool. The education has to come from the outside of Aikido, because it was from within Aikido that created the soft and the hard Aikidoka. Change comes from the top and admired. Insight comes from the rest of us. :) |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Joe - in answer to your question - I started the thread just because Tohei's statement delighted me - as it is far from the grandiose, aikido can fix and handle any problem I have heard on occasion.
Terry's train story has been pulled up over and over as the ultimate "counter," of pure ai-ki-do(TM). A pure moment - yes. But that's all. Given another type of assailant, the old man in the story could have had his skull crushed. His story does exemplify a moment of grace. And a lesson learned - at least somewhat for Terry. But I do not think it exemplifies more than that. Nor does it, alone, tell us how to live. As for my second anecdote,Terry never regretted for an instant trying to commit bodily harm on a man who tried first to sexually assault and then smash in the head - someone he loved. And as she was someone dear to me as well, I still regret not being able to catch that person when he broke and ran. Whether this tells what aikido is or not? Hmmm - to me, it's just a martial art with some interesting technical attributes and oft-times misunderstood ideology. If it really offered directions on how to live, then it's exemplars would be more exemplary. |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Thanks for the candid and thoughtful answer, Ellis. :)
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By the way, just yesterday I was cleaning up old podcasts and rediscovered your interview in "Aikido - the Way of Harmony" with some fellows at Oberlin, I think. I was a bit intrigued by your presenting the view that O-Sensei wasn't very concerned with whether a student got either the spiritual or martial aspects of what he taught; rather, practitioners were, in essence---and if I understood it right---generating energy for O-Sensei to use (in his role as an "avatar"). Interesting stuff I'll want to revisit when the kids aren't hounding me :) |
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Ellis, I'm curious what your thoughts are on how Aikido has been taught by Tohei Sensei and O Sensei; if you don't mind, how would you say they compare to each other (particularly as it relates to the thread of course)? Or what would you recommend as a good resource for me to look into? Take care, Matt |
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Tony |
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Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
I'm not sure it's about what Aikido is or isn't... I think it's about what people are or are not... While Aikido might lead people to temper their ideas in some fashion, what they do is still just an outgrowth of themselves.
I think this gets to the point of Ellis' original post... that someone as iconic in Aikido circles as Tohei Sensei would advocate a very practical and suitably "hard" response to a situation getting out-of-hand, rather than try to rationalize a philosophical "Aiki-bunny" solution. That is refreshing. We are all people. Some of us do Aikido. But Aikido cannot exist without people. |
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If you do a search on aikido journal, there are some interesting articles there by and about Tohei that mention some of the differences. One being that after a hard night of drinking, Ueshiba couldn't understand how Tohei could do aikido well, since no self-respecting kami would enter such an impure body. ;) This leads me to conclude that the two men had widely divergent world views...yet they both shared aikido. I guess that is one reason I have friends in aikido who do very different styles from mine...and hold very different political associations or beliefs. If it was good enough for Tohei and Ueshiba... Best, Ron (pardon any unintended comment on some of the responses to the thread) |
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Best, Ron |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
Just fwiw having dealt with folk "not of right mind" often you simply don't have many options. So I can't imagine why anyone would argue with the initial point. Heck, even the classic Dobson story about the train is a great *individual* story. But how many people have gotten whacked by a beligerent drunk when they tried to do the exact same thing the old man did? Great that it worked out in that case, but for all we know the old man just happened to get lucky that day. Or maybe he had a blackjack behind is back just in case... Now that would change the feel of the story, neh? ;) Heck, if he had tried to calm the drunk down then bonked him one good on the head if it hadn't worked I'd still say it was good Aikido. Blending with the situation right up till it became dangerous then using the blackjack to restore harmony... ;)
Step off the line and cut them down at the speed of light... I will say that talking to some in Aikido is like talking to people enthusiastic about their 12-step program. Or religion. Or selling Amway. Or low-carb diets. Or Tony Robbins. Or whatever "that" thing is that seems to give them an overarching structure within which to live their lives. That's cool for them but I guess I'm just too cynical to go that far. I enjoy Aikido and I think applying it to daily life is a good thing for me. But I find lessons and "tools" for living in all aspects of my life, not just from Aikido. Or as the expression goes, if all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail. Not sure how it all relates, but back to the original post all my training has always emphasized that Aikido is also about learning to see things as they truly are. And that sometimes restoring harmony is obtained by the other guy accelerating into the ground face first... |
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If I have only one arm, my range of potential responses to a physical situation is limited---at least compared to your own. Still, I may be celebrated for my efforts by the aikido community for my heroic effort, training with such a handicap. Now, if I have two arms, but I always train with one arm tied behind my back, my range of responses is as limited as the one-armed fellow. Now you may call me an idiot for practicing this way, but can I not still learn mind-body coordination and finding a spontaneous, appropriate response within my constrained situation? That is, can aikido still not have value to me? "Well, maybe not that thing that you call 'aikido'..." each might say to the other... A philosophical constraint is not much different than physically binding an arm in practice. But before anyone gets too excited with a "Yeah! Stupid aiki-bunnies, limiting their responses with philosophy!" though, note that the need to have a completely unbound range of responses is just as much a hindrance as any; it's just lest obvious. Finding something that bolsters one's point of view is a good opportunity to check one's self for this type of issue. |
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Take care, Matt |
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Really, why ask why? ;) |
Re: How truly refreshing - Tohei K. on conflict resolution
I'll stick to your original analogy, why tie only one arm behind your back, why not both? And the feet, why not tie them as well?
One could claim that quadriplegic people are actually practicing Aikido by just living, but not very convincingly. |
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