Unhealthy Aikido obsession
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago! I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously! I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently :D ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand? I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy? Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido? Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question. Thanks for reading ... Please reply. Peace! :ai: :ki: :do: |
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Welcome to the Aikido community! Now, don't you worry, you are experiencing what I call the beginner's high. It's absolutely common, normal, and even necessary, for the first few months of training in almost anything, be it Aikido, Ballet, Karate, tap dancing, you name it, are often about practicing over and over again the basic steps that will enable you to excel in your chosen art. After a few months, one of two things will happen: you will either grow bored and quit, or you will find yourself on your way to many years of exciting discovery.
I certainly wish you the latest. Quit? No, no, no, your have no idea (yet) of what you will miss if you do that. Welcome aboard the Aiki obsessed train, and let the fun begin! Weeeeeeee! ;) |
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Oh, and I forgot, you are now officially an aikibunny! :D
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but... what is an Aikibunny? xD |
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I thought tha an aikibunny was just someone obsessed with aikido?
Darn, sometimes, my english fails me.... Will you forgive me, Rute? :( |
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It's okay to go overboard in your early enthusiasm -- in most cases, the balance in your life will reassert itself. If you're training instead of spending all your time on Facebook, I can't see that as a bad thing. It becomes a problem if you neglect your responsibilities at home/school/work, let your relationships deteriorate with people who don't train, train in a way that is bad for your health, become an annoying aikido-fundamentalist-proselytizer who won't shut up about it (hint: almost nobody cares), or narrow your horizons so much that you can only see aikido and can't see all the other worthwhile things out there.
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Of course I forgive you :D |
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You've fallen in love. It will mature into something both deeper and more meaningful.... or vanish.
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I am right there with you though! You may enjoy reading "Women in Aikido" by Andrea L. Siegel. One of the first things I started doing when I realized Aikido classes were where I needed to be was to read books and join a forum. *cough* Good luck with your training! Have fun and learn about yourself! --Ashley |
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My obsession started in 1982 ... still obsessed.
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Dear Rute,
I didn't get hooked quite so quickly; the obsession started maybe after 6 or 8 months; I don't remember. It took over gradually. I started making plans like "in order to pass that exam I have to go training 3 times a week, not 2". Then the exam in question didn't come so I had an excuse to train 3 times a week over months, until that became routine. Then I promised myself "after 3rd kyu I'll take up another martial art in order to get a different perspective". And where am I now? I'm going to aikido 4 times per week and 1 x to karate; once per month to a seminar, and whenever I'm travelling abroad, I'm going to a local dojo. That's how I know that there are no aikido dojos in Kigali and Port Harcourt, but very nice ones in Abidjan and Baku... Before starting to work seriously, I scroll over all new posts in aikiweb, and write the one or other useless contribution. Twice per week my kids also come to training, so I don't get the feeling to abandon the family for aikido (they stopped for a year, then decided to continue again). I even started to learn Japanese but had to abandon that for learning Dutch (job requirement). I organise my day so that I work enormously efficiently in the morning, come home when kids come back from school, help with homework and spend some time with the kids, cook and then, at 18.00 => off to aikido. Sometimes I skip a class for meeting friends or going to a concert/ opera, but not too often....that would damage my happiness.... And for my old age, I dream of opening a community, non-profit dojo together with a friend from another martial art... When cycling to work, I daydream about aikido. How I was uke for kote gaeshi yesterday evening, and why I performed it so badly, how it could have been done better, preferably about how fluently I did soto kaiten nage on XY and how it came that it worked all the time, and sometimes I also dream about it at night. Obviously, I look forward to it the whole day long. That's about obsession. I don't see anything bad with it. I think it's something nice as far as it doesn't swallow the rest of your life. But then, as far as for me, it's not the only source of happiness in my life. Wishing you much fun, happiness and fulfillment in your further aikido career :-) Eva |
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As a young guy many years ago I used to train as much as I could.I travelled extensively to see my teacher, a very well known shihan.At that time I had a wife and a young family.To my eternal shame I now realise I messed up.I should have spent more time with my family.Now at the age of 73 I am spending my time redressing the balance.Unfortunately my realization came a bit late. As a young person there is so much more to enjoy outside Aikido. Broaden your horizons.Learn music, enjoy nature , visit new places and develop and cherish friends and family. Train in Aikido by all means but do not become obsessed by it.Balance is everything be it in Aikido or in living.Wish I could turn the clock back.I would not do the same things again. All the best , Joe. |
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Hi Rute,
It's OK to have this feeling of being obsessed. You are not the first person to be obsessed with this art. In good time, your aikido will get incorporated naturally in your life's routine. Look for something to balance it out though. Over the years or decades when you are still practicing, you will undergo cycles of highs and lows. The important thing is how you deal with the lows since these times are much more difficult to confront than the feelings you are feeling right now. An extreme low for me was a time when I questioned whether I will still continue aikido because I was going nowhere. I was searching for the secrets to unlocking what Aikido is. I am glad I didn't quit because I learned what the Aikido secret is. The secret to Aikido is there is no secret. The secret is the "keiko".....It is going to the dojo attending training day in day out even in times you don't feel like it. |
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as far as obsession goes, there are various professional psycho folks who do aikido who might be able to help you. there is a support group AA, Aikido Anonymous, that has a 6 steps program. 1. regularly apply nikkyo 2. if #1 didn't do the job, apply sankyo 3. if #2 didn't do the job, apply yonkyo 4. switch to shihonage 5. koshinage and WWE body slam 6. if the above didn't work, invite dojo mates go to local pub and proceed with the 12 beers (root beer for underage) on the table approach |
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You're supposed to be obsessed with something, you're 15. Better Aikido than some boy.
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One more time, welcome to the gang, I promise you almost as much fun here as you will find on the mat. :D |
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A good cartoon says a thousand words.Brilliant.This cartoon should be posted in every dojo.Cheers, Joe. |
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You're in an even better position. I think 15 is such a good age to start, because you are mature enough to train seriously with adults but young enough to not have many other responsibilities. Enjoy yourself and be grateful for a sensei and a club. You're going to get so much out of this if you stick with it. But do your math homework too! Conrad |
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There is no such thing as ''unhealthy aikido obsession''.It's good to know that someone is so enthusiastic about it,it will help you on your training,i am obsessed as well!Aikido is a
very difficult martial art so it takes a lot of...so called obsession in order to be learned.Keep on practicing!:) :) |
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If you find yourself in this category, you may be one of our future Shihan. That's where really high level expertise comes from... an obsessive focus on training. |
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Welcome Rute to the ranks of the Aikido obsessed! Listen well to Ledyard Sensei. I've only been training for 3 years, so mine is not a voice of experience in Aikido but very soon after starting I developed the same symptoms you described.
I came to the art much older (I'm now 47). So while I've occasionally bemoaned not starting in my youth, when my body was more malleable and my bad habits less ingrained, I do now have the benefit of a stable job with flexible hours and a very supportive family (both my kids train). This coupled with the fact that I live in Seattle, only 1/2 mile from my dojo, allows me to train essentially every day and attend weekend seminars with wonderful teachers nearly every month (Seattle is very rich in aikido). I think that it is very important to follow your passions, so don't hold back. But do allow the choices you make to be those that "open doors" rather than restrict your future possibilities. Finally, as a mathematician, I do heartily agree with Conrad's earlier reply: Quote:
Dan |
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