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RuteMendes 01-23-2012 12:30 PM

Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently :D ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace! :ai: :ki: :do:

Demetrio Cereijo 01-23-2012 12:36 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rute Mendes wrote: (Post 301365)
but do you think it will end up affecting my studies?

Probably
Quote:

How shall I deal with this?
Don't get obsessed.
Quote:

Is it unhealthy?
Sure
Quote:

Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?
I know some people who are obsessive about aikido.
Quote:

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.
:)
Quote:

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.
Done.

Marie Noelle Fequiere 01-23-2012 12:44 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Welcome to the Aikido community! Now, don't you worry, you are experiencing what I call the beginner's high. It's absolutely common, normal, and even necessary, for the first few months of training in almost anything, be it Aikido, Ballet, Karate, tap dancing, you name it, are often about practicing over and over again the basic steps that will enable you to excel in your chosen art. After a few months, one of two things will happen: you will either grow bored and quit, or you will find yourself on your way to many years of exciting discovery.
I certainly wish you the latest. Quit? No, no, no, your have no idea (yet) of what you will miss if you do that.
Welcome aboard the Aiki obsessed train, and let the fun begin!
Weeeeeeee! ;)

Marie Noelle Fequiere 01-23-2012 01:19 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Oh, and I forgot, you are now officially an aikibunny! :D

RuteMendes 01-23-2012 01:25 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Marie Noelle Fequiere wrote: (Post 301374)
Oh, and I forgot, you are now officially an aikibunny! :D

thanks for your reply! :)
but... what is an Aikibunny? xD

Demetrio Cereijo 01-23-2012 01:31 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19043
:)

Marie Noelle Fequiere 01-23-2012 01:53 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
I thought tha an aikibunny was just someone obsessed with aikido?
Darn, sometimes, my english fails me....
Will you forgive me, Rute? :(

lbb 01-23-2012 02:22 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
It's okay to go overboard in your early enthusiasm -- in most cases, the balance in your life will reassert itself. If you're training instead of spending all your time on Facebook, I can't see that as a bad thing. It becomes a problem if you neglect your responsibilities at home/school/work, let your relationships deteriorate with people who don't train, train in a way that is bad for your health, become an annoying aikido-fundamentalist-proselytizer who won't shut up about it (hint: almost nobody cares), or narrow your horizons so much that you can only see aikido and can't see all the other worthwhile things out there.

RuteMendes 01-23-2012 02:37 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Marie Noelle Fequiere wrote: (Post 301378)
I thought tha an aikibunny was just someone obsessed with aikido?
Darn, sometimes, my english fails me....
Will you forgive me, Rute? :(

:D Ahh don't worry! I though that too!
Of course I forgive you :D

Hanna B 01-23-2012 02:42 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
You've fallen in love. It will mature into something both deeper and more meaningful.... or vanish.

Malicat 01-23-2012 06:47 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Mary Malmros wrote: (Post 301381)
It's okay to go overboard in your early enthusiasm -- in most cases, the balance in your life will reassert itself. If you're training instead of spending all your time on Facebook, I can't see that as a bad thing. It becomes a problem if you neglect your responsibilities at home/school/work, let your relationships deteriorate with people who don't train, train in a way that is bad for your health, become an annoying aikido-fundamentalist-proselytizer who won't shut up about it (hint: almost nobody cares), or narrow your horizons so much that you can only see aikido and can't see all the other worthwhile things out there.

I am definitely with Mary on this one. I'll also point out that my Shihan is constantly making plans for what to do in a situation where he has to fight. Seriously, if you tell the man "Someone gets in your car from the rear driver's side and has a knife." he will immediately tell you what he would do in that situation. There is nothing wrong with situational awareness. Just be cautious when envisioning using a kokyu nage on your teachers, I find that they tend to frown on that sort of thing. ;)

I am right there with you though! You may enjoy reading "Women in Aikido" by Andrea L. Siegel. One of the first things I started doing when I realized Aikido classes were where I needed to be was to read books and join a forum. *cough* Good luck with your training! Have fun and learn about yourself!

--Ashley

Steven 01-23-2012 08:47 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
My obsession started in 1982 ... still obsessed.
:-)

Eva Antonia 01-24-2012 02:21 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Dear Rute,

I didn't get hooked quite so quickly; the obsession started maybe after 6 or 8 months; I don't remember. It took over gradually. I started making plans like "in order to pass that exam I have to go training 3 times a week, not 2".
Then the exam in question didn't come so I had an excuse to train 3 times a week over months, until that became routine.
Then I promised myself "after 3rd kyu I'll take up another martial art in order to get a different perspective".

And where am I now?
I'm going to aikido 4 times per week and 1 x to karate; once per month to a seminar, and whenever I'm travelling abroad, I'm going to a local dojo. That's how I know that there are no aikido dojos in Kigali and Port Harcourt, but very nice ones in Abidjan and Baku...
Before starting to work seriously, I scroll over all new posts in aikiweb, and write the one or other useless contribution.
Twice per week my kids also come to training, so I don't get the feeling to abandon the family for aikido (they stopped for a year, then decided to continue again).
I even started to learn Japanese but had to abandon that for learning Dutch (job requirement).
I organise my day so that I work enormously efficiently in the morning, come home when kids come back from school, help with homework and spend some time with the kids, cook and then, at 18.00 => off to aikido.
Sometimes I skip a class for meeting friends or going to a concert/ opera, but not too often....that would damage my happiness....
And for my old age, I dream of opening a community, non-profit dojo together with a friend from another martial art...
When cycling to work, I daydream about aikido. How I was uke for kote gaeshi yesterday evening, and why I performed it so badly, how it could have been done better, preferably about how fluently I did soto kaiten nage on XY and how it came that it worked all the time, and sometimes I also dream about it at night. Obviously, I look forward to it the whole day long.

That's about obsession. I don't see anything bad with it. I think it's something nice as far as it doesn't swallow the rest of your life.
But then, as far as for me, it's not the only source of happiness in my life.

Wishing you much fun, happiness and fulfillment in your further aikido career :-)

Eva

sakumeikan 01-24-2012 02:40 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rute Mendes wrote: (Post 301365)
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently :D ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace! :ai: :ki: :do:

Hi Rute,
As a young guy many years ago I used to train as much as I could.I travelled extensively to see my teacher, a very well known shihan.At that time I had a wife and a young family.To my eternal shame I now realise I messed up.I should have spent more time with my family.Now at the age of 73 I am spending my time redressing the balance.Unfortunately my realization came a bit late.
As a young person there is so much more to enjoy outside Aikido. Broaden your horizons.Learn music, enjoy nature , visit new places and develop and cherish friends and family.
Train in Aikido by all means but do not become obsessed by it.Balance is everything be it in Aikido or in living.Wish I could turn the clock back.I would not do the same things again. All the best , Joe.

mrlizard123 01-24-2012 03:41 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Ashley Hemsath wrote: (Post 301402)
I'll also point out that my Shihan is constantly making plans for what to do in a situation where he has to fight.

https://www.xkcd.com/337/

Mario Tobias 01-24-2012 04:10 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Hi Rute,

It's OK to have this feeling of being obsessed. You are not the first person to be obsessed with this art. In good time, your aikido will get incorporated naturally in your life's routine. Look for something to balance it out though.

Over the years or decades when you are still practicing, you will undergo cycles of highs and lows. The important thing is how you deal with the lows since these times are much more difficult to confront than the feelings you are feeling right now.

An extreme low for me was a time when I questioned whether I will still continue aikido because I was going nowhere. I was searching for the secrets to unlocking what Aikido is. I am glad I didn't quit because I learned what the Aikido secret is.

The secret to Aikido is there is no secret.

The secret is the "keiko".....It is going to the dojo attending training day in day out even in times you don't feel like it.

phitruong 01-24-2012 06:13 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Mario Tobias wrote: (Post 301426)
The secret to Aikido is there is no secret.
.

what!! there is no secret ingredient in aikido? but .... but that old used-budo guy, the one with picture hung in various dojo, who sold me the goods told me that there were secrets in aikido! i have been trying to find the secrets for years now. ok, i am going to find the old guy and aiki nuking him to the moon!

as far as obsession goes, there are various professional psycho folks who do aikido who might be able to help you. there is a support group AA, Aikido Anonymous, that has a 6 steps program.

1. regularly apply nikkyo
2. if #1 didn't do the job, apply sankyo
3. if #2 didn't do the job, apply yonkyo
4. switch to shihonage
5. koshinage and WWE body slam
6. if the above didn't work, invite dojo mates go to local pub and proceed with the 12 beers (root beer for underage) on the table approach

Richard Stevens 01-24-2012 07:06 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
You're supposed to be obsessed with something, you're 15. Better Aikido than some boy.

Marie Noelle Fequiere 01-24-2012 07:18 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rute Mendes wrote: (Post 301383)
:D Ahh don't worry! I though that too!
Of course I forgive you :D

Phewww! Thanks! :)
One more time, welcome to the gang, I promise you almost as much fun here as you will find on the mat. :D

sakumeikan 01-24-2012 01:06 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rich Hobbs wrote: (Post 301425)

Rich,
A good cartoon says a thousand words.Brilliant.This cartoon should be posted in every dojo.Cheers, Joe.

Conrad Gus 01-24-2012 01:30 PM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rute Mendes wrote: (Post 301365)
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

When I first started doing aikido I was able to arrange my university courses to allow me to train a lot. I had a period of about two years where I could do aikido as much as I wanted. Then came marriage and kids, which required some re-prioritizing (not training as often). I am always glad that I started at a young enough age that I could just throw myself into it for a couple of years.

You're in an even better position. I think 15 is such a good age to start, because you are mature enough to train seriously with adults but young enough to not have many other responsibilities.

Enjoy yourself and be grateful for a sensei and a club. You're going to get so much out of this if you stick with it.

But do your math homework too!

Conrad

ryback 01-25-2012 08:41 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
There is no such thing as ''unhealthy aikido obsession''.It's good to know that someone is so enthusiastic about it,it will help you on your training,i am obsessed as well!Aikido is a
very difficult martial art so it takes a lot of...so called obsession in order to be learned.Keep on practicing!:) :)

George S. Ledyard 01-25-2012 09:00 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

Rute Mendes wrote: (Post 301365)
Hey!
I'm new in this forum... Just started Aikido 4 months ago!
I'm a 15 years old girl from Portugal and there's something that's kind of worrying me: I'm started to get obsessed with Aikido! Seriously!
I think about it all the time... During the morning, afternoon, night (yes, I dream about Aikido very frequently :D ). I don't mind, actually... 4 months ago, all I did with my life was studying and going to facebook and useless websites like that one. Now I've got something worth living for, you understand?
I even think about it while in school classes... Like "hmmm would shihonage work with this person? or pehaps an iriminage? how would o'sensei react if someone attacked him? wowww aikido is great! can't wait until next class! oh! forgot we had maths homework! what do I do now? " :S
I know it sounds silly, as I started recently, but do you think it will end up affecting my studies? How shall I deal with this? Is it unhealthy?
Does anyone else feels an obsession for Aikido?

Please don't tell me to quit, it's absolutley out of question.

Thanks for reading ... Please reply.

Peace! :ai: :ki: :do:

Yes, it may effect your studies. Yes, it may cause you to not maximize your future income potential. Yes, it may cause you to take stupid jobs just so they don't interefere with your training. Yes, you may run through any number of relationships because it's hard to find partners who like the fact that they have to share you with Aikido.

If you find yourself in this category, you may be one of our future Shihan. That's where really high level expertise comes from... an obsessive focus on training.

Pollack 01-25-2012 10:52 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Welcome Rute to the ranks of the Aikido obsessed! Listen well to Ledyard Sensei. I've only been training for 3 years, so mine is not a voice of experience in Aikido but very soon after starting I developed the same symptoms you described.

I came to the art much older (I'm now 47). So while I've occasionally bemoaned not starting in my youth, when my body was more malleable and my bad habits less ingrained, I do now have the benefit of a stable job with flexible hours and a very supportive family (both my kids train). This coupled with the fact that I live in Seattle, only 1/2 mile from my dojo, allows me to train essentially every day and attend weekend seminars with wonderful teachers nearly every month (Seattle is very rich in aikido).

I think that it is very important to follow your passions, so don't hold back. But do allow the choices you make to be those that "open doors" rather than restrict your future possibilities.

Finally, as a mathematician, I do heartily agree with Conrad's earlier reply:

Quote:

But do your math homework too!
With best wishes,
Dan

Nicholas Eschenbruch 01-25-2012 11:51 AM

Re: Unhealthy Aikido obsession
 
Quote:

George S. Ledyard wrote: (Post 301563)
Yes, it may effect your studies. Yes, it may cause you to not maximize your future income potential. Yes, it may cause you to take stupid jobs just so they don't interefere with your training. Yes, you may run through any number of relationships because it's hard to find partners who like the fact that they have to share you with Aikido.

If you find yourself in this category, you may be one of our future Shihan. That's where really high level expertise comes from... an obsessive focus on training.

... and Rute, did you know you can actually do it full time? Here for example http://www.aikidomontreux.com or here http://aikidoofberkeley.com to name just two places I have visited and know the instructors of. From a couple of weeks in your school holidays to a number of years once you are a little older. Consider it - you might just as well take your obsession to the limit and make the most of it :D


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