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-   -   Customs in the different countries (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19421)

guest1234567 02-15-2011 04:23 PM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
:):):)

Tenyu 02-15-2011 04:26 PM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
I spent my senior year of high school in Zaragoza and I really liked the direct display of affection. I found it much easier to get used to then the hugs which are common here.

guest1234567 02-15-2011 04:32 PM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Yes, it is. With 18 I went for the first time to Germany, I found a good job, but after 18 month I left and went home to Argentina, even I lived with my aunt, but I missed the easy and warm relation. So I understand what you felt in Zaragoza.

Carsten Möllering 02-16-2011 05:15 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carina Reinhardt wrote: (Post 276659)
... I missed the easy and warm relation.

Do you really think that "easy and warm relations" depend on the customs of kissing, or hugging?

And, on the other hand, when visiting countries with this custom I experienced the kissing of people I didn't know as just a formal "ritual" just like shaking hands or bowing. There is nothing more in it. It's just another distance ...

at last:
Here where I live, kissing when greeting is only done by members of the "fancy-schmancy scene" (never heard this word in english. My dictionary gave it: trendy types, in-types ... Know what I mean?)
So kissing when greeting can have the connotation of superficiality here.
(If you are not french ... The spanish, portugese or italian people living here don't do it. Only the french. Don't know why? Just my personal experience.)

phitruong 02-16-2011 05:23 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
so any country that has custom such as this?

(from Meet the Spartans)

Messenger: You just kissed me!
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women [high-fives Margo] and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

just want to know so i can prepare meself if i travel through :D

guest1234567 02-16-2011 05:42 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carsten Möllering wrote: (Post 276683)
Do you really think that "easy and warm relations" depend on the customs of kissing, or hugging?

And, on the other hand, when visiting countries with this custom I experienced the kissing of people I didn't know as just a formal "ritual" just like shaking hands or bowing. There is nothing more in it. It's just another distance ...

at last:
Here where I live, kissing when greeting is only done by members of the "fancy-schmancy scene" (never heard this word in english. My dictionary gave it: trendy types, in-types ... Know what I mean?)
So kissing when greeting can have the connotation of superficiality here.
(If you are not french ... The spanish, portugese or italian people living here don't do it. Only the french. Don't know why? Just my personal experience.)

Hi Carsten,
My mother is german and my father was, so nothing against Germany, but it was the first time that anybody said "Sie" to me, in english that difference doesn't exist, but that put you on distance, in Argentina or Spain we also have TU or USTED, but we say USTED very few times, many people doesn't like that because it makes you somehow old... And also the weather in Germany, for a 21 year old is was really sad...

Demetrio Cereijo 02-16-2011 05:43 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carina Reinhardt wrote: (Post 276659)
So I understand what you felt in Zaragoza.

What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 05:52 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: (Post 276688)
What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

Demetrio here in Gran Canaria we only drink water from a bottle, we have no water..

guest1234567 02-16-2011 05:55 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
And Carsten yes sometimes it is kind of ritual, but not always...
It is just how you get used to. For me shaking hands or bowing it seems very cold, and more if you do to children.

NeilWebb 02-16-2011 05:55 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Love this topic, it's always been something that's fascinated me!! Here in the UK, there's no real formal customs for greeting people, and therefore it can be a bit of a minefield. For example, sometimes if you move towards someone to greet them you can see the confusion and uncertainty in their face, then you go to shake their hand and the hand is really unenthusiastic.

Personally, for close friends I have these rules, for chaps, a handshake and hug, and for ladies a hug and a kiss on the cheek. For those you don't know well, I would normally just stick to a handshake.

I have to admit I like the Spanish/French greeting style, however I do find it colder without the hug. I'v hugged in france while doing the kissing thing, and you get a very strange look! LOL!!

Thanks for posting this topic, I could go on for hours about it!!

guest1234567 02-16-2011 05:57 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Thanks Neil:)

Janet Rosen 02-16-2011 08:27 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: (Post 276688)
What I felt in ZGZ was a public water supply with the most horrible taste ever.

Sure you weren't in New Jersey? :-)

lbb 02-16-2011 08:45 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carina Reinhardt wrote: (Post 276687)
My mother is german and my father was, so nothing against Germany, but it was the first time that anybody said "Sie" to me, in english that difference doesn't exist, but that put you on distance, in Argentina or Spain we also have TU or USTED, but we say USTED very few times, many people doesn't like that because it makes you somehow old...

...and if you ever go to Korea, you will find that even very close friends will always use the equivalent of "Miss" or "Ms." when speaking to you, even if they are close enough to use your first name (which in Korean society is very close indeed). I don't think it means what you seem to think it means, though.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 08:57 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Of course Mary, for you it might mean one thing and for me another. Not long ago in Spain and Latinamerica children had to call their parents you like usted, so Mr or Mrs. Things and costums change. I only am talking about what I think and what I like.

C. David Henderson 02-16-2011 08:57 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Nobel Prize laureate and zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who most people would agree comes across as a warm and loving person, has talked about his initial discomfort when he came to the United States in 1966 and Corretta Scott King (the wife of fellow laureate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) gave him a warm hug in greeting. Later, after becoming comfortable with the custom, he created what he called "hugging meditation."

It's easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own, in my opinion.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 09:07 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Charles David Henderson wrote: (Post 276719)
Nobel Prize laureate and zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh, who most people would agree comes across as a warm and loving person, has talked about his initial discomfort when he came to the United States in 1966 and Corretta Scott King (the wife of fellow laureate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) gave him a warm hug in greeting. Later, after becoming comfortable with the custom, he created what he called "hugging meditation."

It's easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own, in my opinion.

Thanks Charles, the same as I said to Mary " I only am talking about what I think and what I like." and if I go to another country I'd do just what they are used to...I wouldn't kiss or give a hug to anybody who doesn't like it.
I'm talking about that I like our costum and feel very happy living in a country like Spain :) I don't think I would move to any place where people are different..

Demetrio Cereijo 02-16-2011 09:20 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carina Reinhardt wrote: (Post 276721)
I'm talking about that I like our costum and feel very happy living in a country like Spain :) I don't think I would move to any place where people are different..

Well, I've travelled a bit around Spain and in some places I've felt as I were in a totally different country from my own.

I believe there is 'Spain' and there is 'reconquered lands" :D

Carsten Möllering 02-16-2011 09:36 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carina Reinhardt wrote: (Post 276721)
.. I like our costum ...

Maybe this is the feeling everybody has about the customs of his or her country?
Being at home doesn't only mean the landscape.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 09:38 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Carsten Möllering wrote: (Post 276725)
Maybe this is the feeling everybody has about the customs of his or her country?
Being at home doesn't only mean the landscape.

For me it means first the family, but also the weather and the sea, I lived almost all my live beside the sea.

C. David Henderson 02-16-2011 09:39 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Well, as I never tire of saying, please address me as David.

And you're surely entitled to you feelings and thoughts.

I personally enjoyed visiting Espana both times I had the opportunity to.

Still, let me ask you -- if the point of this thread is to celebrate some perceived features of "Spanish" culture (even if for understandable reasons) why do you see this a spiritual topic and not an open discussion?

Was it not your thesis in the OP that it is good to physically express these emotions? Did you not ask what folks do in other countries?

Why retreat behind "that's just my opinion" when you get responses to your question suggesting you look beneath appearances?

It seems to preclude a meaningful exchange.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 09:40 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Demetrio Cereijo wrote: (Post 276724)
Well, I've travelled a bit around Spain and in some places I've felt as I were in a totally different country from my own.

I believe there is 'Spain' and there is 'reconquered lands" :D

Demetrio if you come to Playa del Inglés, you could think that you are in England, Ireland, Germany, Nederlands or Norway depending in what part you are and what bar you are visiting:D

guest1234567 02-16-2011 09:48 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:

Charles David Henderson wrote: (Post 276727)
Well, as I never tire of saying, please address me as David.

And you're surely entitled to you feelings and thoughts.

I personally enjoyed visiting Espana both times I had the opportunity to.

Still, let me ask you -- if the point of this thread is to celebrate some perceived features of "Spanish" culture (even if for understandable reasons) why do you see this a spiritual topic and not an open discussion?

Was it not your thesis in the OP that it is good to physically express these emotions? Did you not ask what folks do in other countries?

Why retreat behind "that's just my opinion" when you get responses to your question suggesting you look beneath appearances?

It seems to preclude a meaningful exchange.

Sorry David, I'm not so used to this forum to distinguish what post belongs to what item. Tell Jun to put it wherever he likes, I don't care.
Yes I think it is always good to express emotions good or bad, it is not good to keep them inside.
And I agree with you that it is easy to misunderstand another culture's unspoken rules about personal space and touching by reading into them the messages or intentions or personal qualities of one's own. Everybody costums deserves respect.

AsimHanif 02-16-2011 09:53 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote:
I was raised and still live in the Berkshires of New England. We are not big kissers. I shake hands when I meet someone or want to congratulate them.
I notice that people from the city (new York or Boston) and Long Island seem to be more about kissing.


I'm from The Bronx so we usually just give a head nod:-)

C. David Henderson 02-16-2011 09:58 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
I would suggest to you a spectrum of colors may lie between "expressing" emotions and "keeping them inside," which may be illuminated in the nuances of other cultures in ways that cast new light on what it is to be human.

Respecting others' customs and trying to understand the human experience as expressed through another's culture are really not the same thing.

In the trying to understand there may lie something "spiritual;" in the former I sense only pitying forbearance to announce a judgment privately held.

guest1234567 02-16-2011 10:49 AM

Re: Customs in the different countries
 
David it is more simple than that, I just asked how it is in the country of everyone in this forum and almost everybody understood that and replyed.
Thanks anyway...


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