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-   -   Problems in a dojo (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13558)

AnonymusGuy 11-28-2007 04:27 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
BTW Maybe it takes two to start a fight, but one isquite enough for harrasment...

Steven 11-28-2007 05:14 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 194855)
I always try to solve a problem if there is one, but in this particular case why should I waste my time trying to fix a problem, when the other side is not interested...?

I rest my case.

So why do you stay if you feel you're being harassed and the problem is unfixable? Like I said, the answer is right in front of you. Time to stop the whining and move on.

danj 11-29-2007 09:33 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
I've found the following to be helpful in many situations and in many senses - slippers are made for walking too ;)

"If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth." not sure who said it Ghandi maybe?

"God grant me the serentity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference", Anon

dps 11-29-2007 09:41 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Full Original Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

David

dps 11-29-2007 09:58 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
To a disciple who was forever complaining about others the Master said, "If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth." -Anthony de Mello, SJ

David

Shannon Frye 11-30-2007 07:59 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
I agree. It sucks to have to "move on" when you have found a dojo where you are happy with the style, location, pricing, and so forth. And I'm surprised to see so many people simply say "move on" when there may not be anywhere to move on to. But truth is that even 1 (in my case it was more) dkheads can really make the dojo experience an unpleasant one.

We all know this art requires a partner. In my case, childish adult students would hog ukes. (Work in 3's and leave me odd man out - or rotate working with new students to make sure I had no uke). :grr: Head instructor saw it all, and did nothing till I got fed up and started name calling. Then "I" was the one banished.:eek:

Seriously - as nice as the place may be, if you feel you're getting nowhere with the cho, and things are not going to improve - it's time to say "Sayonara"

Shannon
(now in a MUCH nicer place)
:circle: :triangle: :circle:

Quote:

Ron Tisdale wrote: (Post 194499)
I have to admit, I like the *idea* of not quitting...but sometimes the reality is that you cut your losses. Especially if the senior instructor is as "hands off" as the posts make it seem. But my view could be totally skewed...

B,
R


boon 12-04-2007 09:09 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 194666)

Maybe I put it a bit wrong in my previous post about that girl. She was former karate student (black belt) and she was the one that was a bit arrogant; Every time when someone tried to explain her some technique she was always reacting in a "leave me alone I already know this" manner... and at the end every class she would intentionally get in a way and disturb us while we were folding our hakamas (for example she would intentionally step on it or pull those cords used to tie hakama and disturb our work), and when we asked her not to do it she wouldn't listen, or even threaten us with her karate skill.

You let littel Kroty Gurl (TM) bully ya... LOL!

Now go lurn sum grappling and sankaku hur all yer want...

Boon.

xuzen 12-04-2007 09:13 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 194666)
Maybe I put it a bit wrong in my previous post about that girl. She was former karate student (black belt) and she was the one that was a bit arrogant; Every time when someone tried to explain her some technique she was always reacting in a "leave me alone I already know this" manner... and at the end every class she would intentionally get in a way and disturb us while we were folding our hakamas (for example she would intentionally step on it or pull those cords used to tie hakama and disturb our work), and when we asked her not to do it she wouldn't listen, or even threaten us with her karate skill.

Yer let a Kroty Gurl (TM) bully ya? LOL

Now go lurn sum T3H GR4PPL3 and sankaku hur all ya want....

Boon.

Pierre Kewcharoen 12-05-2007 08:44 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
huh :confused:

Lorien Lowe 12-06-2007 02:32 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Anonymous User wrote: (Post 194519)
A few times I visited other Aikido clubs in my area (different styles). Later, when my dojo cho heard about that, he told me it was bad thing to do, that ill get egotistic, and asked me if I think that I'm better than the rest of the people in dojo, etc.

Until I read this, I was thinking that you should try to arrange a meeting with both your dojo-cho and the harassing jerk under the guise of 'informing you of the ettiquite you have been breaching,' but after reading this I think you should cut your losses and find another dojo. What is described above is not a healthy attitude.

AnonymusGuy 01-11-2009 07:57 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Just a small update from me....

Unfortunately, due to some serious health problems, I had to quit training, and so far I've been off the mat for about year and a half. I still hope for the best, and that I will return one day... But I've made the decision that it will definitely be in some other dojo.

Tony Wagstaffe 01-12-2009 04:38 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Leave......

Seems the dojo is led and run by....... w.....s?
Or is it you?

Take Care ....... anonymous

Tony

AnonymusGuy 04-23-2011 07:28 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Unfortunately, there will be no more Aikido for me. Doctor's orders. Due to serious problems with my heart I must avoid all physical activities. :(((

sakumeikan 04-24-2011 03:11 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Brian Vickery wrote: (Post 194496)
...I also agree with this approach, talking with the guy 'man to man' outside the dojo over a beer. My guess from what little you've said is that this guy just has no respect for you at all, and this meeting will at least start him thinking that maybe he's made the wrong assumption about you. He might not even be aware that he's been such a jerk toward you, and this will at least bring that to his attention. If he refuses or continues to treat you disrespectfully during/after your talk, then the guy is just an arrogant jerk, and there's nothing you can do about it.

...but where I differ from Ron's opinion is that I would NOT leave the dojo! Continue to train, just ignore this idiot! And don't 'fight' this guy, that's just plain wrong! [A fight won't decide who is right, it just decides who is stronger!!! ...not very Aiki!]

...by doing the beer thing, you've done all you can to fix the problem, but sometimes problems just can't be fixed ...and life goes on! ...BUT DON'T QUIT!!!!!

Dear Brian,
Why waste a good beer on a prat?Sad to say you always meet some stupid person who thinks they are the bees knees.
If you victim decided to bop this idiot , he had it coming.Why do aikidoka think there is always a peaceful resolution to everything ?Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.
Cheers, Joe.

guest1234567 04-24-2011 07:40 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

David Skaggs wrote: (Post 194922)
Full Original Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

David

A very nice poem, thanks I just read it because Niall quoted it in his comment to the posthttp://www.aikiweb.com/blogs/moon-in...anifesto-4195/

Sweetpotato 04-25-2011 12:16 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Quote:

Joe Curran wrote: (Post 282206)
Dear Brian,
Why waste a good beer on a prat?Sad to say you always meet some stupid person who thinks they are the bees knees.
If you victim decided to bop this idiot , he had it coming.Why do aikidoka think there is always a peaceful resolution to everything ?Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.
Cheers, Joe.

Hi Joe,

Absolutely in agreement with you. Extreme cruelty to the extremely arrogant.

Cheers

Sweet Potato Choong

Janet Rosen 04-25-2011 10:06 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
Another old old thread resurrected by a OP stopping in to say "never mind".....

Diana Frese 04-25-2011 11:22 AM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
It could be that "never mind" may be looking for something... could it be that the doctor meant no strenuous physical activity. Some hospitals actually sponsor tai chi and yoga classes, and swimming at health centers connected with hospitals, as Tully Center is connected with our Stamford Hospital.

My husband, who has practiced Kung Fu, says that some of the Aikido techniques and exercises can be practiced in a manner similar to Tai Chi, suitable for elderly people and those with injury and other limitations... anonymous may be able to look into something like that....

Anonymous Guy, good luck from both of us, we hope your health improves...

Johnbo 04-27-2011 05:33 PM

Re: Problems in a dojo
 
There are plenty of people that you will bump into in life that have some form of mental issue where they find it necessary to bully others. Even, if you get past your current issue with him, he will make another problem. I wouldn't even bother going back to the dojo in question. By going back he will only break you down mentally to the point where you cannot think for yourself anymore.

I don't care what the ethics are in the dojo. There is a common eticate that we should all adhere to. That way we all progress and united we are stronger. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I respect my teacher however, I wouldn't take any crap off anyone!!

No one and I mean no one has any right to bully or dominate another.

Just leave with your sanity intact and don't end up like me, lol !


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