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I have a problem with irimi-nage.I'm aware of that for quite some time now. Sometimes it works better, sometime not as good, but it's not consistent, and even worse - not improving.
Last night we had an Irimi class. the instructor decided to work with me and try to explain it to me and i still didn't get it. I started feeling a bitter pain in my throat, that feeling I get when something completely gets to me and breaks me. From there on the class was complete hell. The instructor noticed I turned all introvert and got angry with me. I was constantly on the verge of breaking into tears. I kept thinking "What am I doing here? I could've been home, continuing having a wonderful day".
But I'm resolved to get over it. I'll ask the head instructor to help me. I'll ask nice senior students to assist me. I'll make Irimi Nage my strongest technique.
I took the 4th Kyu test last Thursday.
My teacher and the head instructor remarked that I kept the most uniform and slow pace among all testers, it must've been automatic since I was very nervous.
My teacher said that I did "Roy successes and Roy failures". As in saying, not better than what I do in classes, but not worse. Which is good I guess. I just wish I could sit with them and watch myself so I can figure out what Roy Failures are.
I got a specific remark about Irimi nage - which I am going to pay special attention to, it's about time I master this one!
The head instructor said two good things about me. He said that my extra investment in showing up to class 3-4 times a week shows, that I've started out very stiff and now I'm rounding up a bit. He also said that it was "a good test". That made me feel good, since I knew I can pass it, but I wanted to pass it honorably, to deserve it, and his remark made me feel that I did.
My next test is to figure out how to break my mold and continue improving.