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In an earlier entry I esposed my need for demonstrating patience. So, fully planning on attentding my second class last night, I put on the breaks and accepted the fact that my shoulder wasn't quite ready to re-enter the dojo. This was hard as I'm really raring to go, and as my multiple entries in this journal will illustrate after only one class. Stepping back, however, I reflected that to re-aggivate my injury would only result in further classes missed and, with the Christmas break on the horizon, I'd be better off holding off until the new year. In the meantime, lots of reading, breathing and exercises to increase the flexibility of mind and body.
A typical Canadian December day with snow covering everything in a white-still-pure and not yet stained by pollution. My gi and water bottle are packed in my kit bag and I am ready to get back on the horse and attend my second Aikido class....is there a horse stance in Aikido?
Anyway, the shoulder is still tender, and, being a side sleeper, I am still aware of it's plight when attempting to slumber. I will have to be careful.
I was going to attend class last night, but having worked seven days of 15:00-23:00 at the prison I hadn't seen my wife and daughter at all. So, the wee one and I did a bit of tobogganning during the day and I squeeked out a last minute one point victory over my wife in a game of "Carcassonne" by the warmth of our fireplace.
So, that being done, I am ready to roll (and breakfall, etc.)... though it was a roll that ingured my shoulder - yikes!
...A colleague also expressed interest in trying out a class, so he might be coming with.
I was reading Eric Sotnak's informative article on "The Value of Ki Study" where he presents two very clear definitions of "ki". The first is defined as an esoteric kind of energy flowing down the bodies energy meridians allowing for demonstrations of profound power and effect. The second is "a blanket-concept which covers intentions, momentum, will, and attention..that can literally be extended, [and] adopt a physically and psychologically positive bearing." Regardless, ki appears to be a psychological state attainable through practice to be utilised in a certain way.
Reflecting on this, I wonder if those who are able to utilise ki effectively are in some way able to control and regulate the adrenelin secreted when the body is under duress or forced into the flight or fight mode, to be used at any time? Though an amateur at meditation, I know that I can utilies breath and quiet my mind resulting in physiological results (slowing heart rate, relaxing and releasing of muscular tension, etc.). As a Correctional Officer, I have also been subjected to very intense scenarios where my adrenelin has allowed me to perform tasks well beyond what I could do in an artificial scenario. We hear the stories of 120 lb women lifting cars that have collapsed off their jacks on top of their loved ones, as well as people who have endured incredible undertakings of strength and endurence superceding their apparent physiology. So, could it be that those who demonstrate the utlilisation of ki are
How my ambitions to get back at it and the rate of healing butt heads! I'm fortunate that my shift work is preventing me from rushing back to the dojo, leaving me four more days to mend before I have the option of going to class. The shoulder is there tweaking my consciousness all the time to a small degree, but definitely announcing itself when I lie down and attempt to sleep. I did a variety of light weights and none of those movements seemed to cause further discomfort, so I'm a bit baffled by the whole thing. Still, being introspective on the whole affair, it is another lesson in patience which I hope to master as it will bode well as I continue on with my classes as well as other aspects in life. Keeping this diary/journal of sorts is good in that I don't think I would have formed this perspective on injury and might have been a bit sluggish on reflecting about the necessity of patience, blinded by the excitement of trying something new. Balancing enthusiasim and patience is difficult.