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Didn't make it to Iaido AGAIN this weekend have nothing to blame it on other than my own inability to utilise my time.
101 thing to do this weekend and 99 of them still to go.
I don't think there are any Aikido class' in the town I'm moving to so I will be a Martial arts commuter. Plus I like the people in my class...
I have learnt all sorts of things about my family recently that go a long way to explaining my, at times gut wrenching, belief in my own crapness at EVERYTHING!!!!11111onety!!11!! but it's still hard to fight my way past it.
Doing Martial Arts is a dream I've always had but sometimes when I land with a sickening thud and especially when I am the ONLY person in a class (white belts included) without the confidence to breakfall over someone it's hard to be all smiley-happy-people about my abilities...
bleah! Am I whinging again? sorry about that.
Sunny positivity and self esteem are not natural parts of my personality, they are merely imported on an irregular basis from foreign climes.
My inner Invincible-Sword-Goddess needs a kick up the arse!
Have finally seen Ong Bak now. Muay Thai looks fantastically violent and great fun!
Sadly, Tony Whatsisface is a bit of a wet blanket when he's not kicking the crap out of his opponents, although easly cute enough to be forgiven . He might have Jackie's ability with using random bits of scenery for death defying acrobatics but he doesn't have the man's charm...
R came up after Mondays session and talked about developing my Aikido in a moreindividual fashion. He said the techniques were there but I was having problems because I was trying to use strength. Hurrah!
L, one of my other Sensei, has taken a shine to S and is always helping her with her techniques...and even with her Aikido. I love the fact that he always makes a point of coming over and telling you you've had a good session (if you've had one!)
If someone moves I can normally do a technique (not always in the best style my centre still needs working on but never mind) but when I'm working with The Karate Demon (TKD) it's like trying to get flow out of a fence. Once he's got me he just WILL NOT MOVE! I have similar trouble with some of the others who don't move so much I just feel that at my stage I should be able to move them... grrrr. keep on fighting! in. y'know the most Zen like go-with-the-flow manner. I feel like a sack of spuds because I'm trying to heave TKD round. I need to listen to those physical instincts more.
Find that centre, girl, find that centre!
M is taking the first steps on the road to getting his black belt! Good for him.
ooh... have also found a Kung Fu class that is relatively nearby. I think I'll go over this week and see what the class is like.
I have watched Seven Samurai. It's only taken me 5 or 6 years!
Toshiro Mifune is brilliant. A bouncing bomb of a performance, it was heart rending when both he and the master swordsman die in such close succession. The younger lad was very well played as well. All doe eyed innocence and enthusiasm... Definately a good purchase. The final battle scene in the rain and mud really give it a serious jolt of realism. It must have been a nightmare for the actors.
I'm helping more with teaching at the moment. Not taking a group or anything that important (!) but just helping some of the lower grades whilst practicing. It does wonders for making you think about your Aikido! Ed is a relatively new Aikidoka of about 6 months. He's a nightmare! Will NOT move unless you really do it well. He's built like a tank and seriously shows up the holes in my technique, damn him!
I can feel the learning curve starting again though and now I have Iaido to sate my thirst for weapons work as well!
Bushido... If I could only apply it to life as well as Aikido.
ah hahahahahaah. I had no idea that he was an Aikidoka until about 3 years ago. No amount of martial skill can make someone worth watching in a film if there's no charm about them.
In a demo? Fine. In a film there has to be a little more soul even if the acting isn't that good.
aaany way. I ahve to get over my ukemi problems. they're holding me back.
This is something that Aikido has helped me develop.
Obviously it's not something you create out of thin air but due to insecurity and an over developed Taoist sense of going with the flow and not actually standing up for myself I have always tended to quash my instinct. This led to a lot of frustration and anger because my ignored instincts turned out to be right.
Aikido though has helped me in that if I can't see a way through one way there must be another way. If something feels right go that way rather than fighting against something.
HA! If only I'd taken up Aikido when I was 13 instead of 23 I'd be at this level at 19 instead of 29!
But you cant' start any sooner than today as my mum always says... And without her I wouldn't even have been this far so she must be on to something!
I am desperate to see Ong Bak (the noise has been impossible to avoid about this one) and Twilight Samurai (especially as it stars my favourite man from the Last Samurai) at the moment.
I saw both Unleashed (Danny the Dog was a much better title) and Fist of Legend on Saturday night, it was a serious Jet Li Fest. I felt sooo unbelievably happy after watching FoL. Seeing Jet do Kung Fu patterns had me clapping and cheering and then having to stop suddenly incase I woke my flatmate. My favourite scenes in The One were the parallel ones of him performing two very different styles of Kung Fu. I must search out a class.
It would be fun to see some films that involve more Samurai stuff. I havn't even seen any Akira Kurasawa (that's the Seven Samurai Director incase my bad spelling has rendered the name incomprehensible). Apparantly Steven Segal is an Aikidoka but for me he holds about as much charm as watching a brick wall. Jet Li can kick your arse hard as anyone but he makes you love him as well (or is that just me and my hormones again!?)
I am finding it hard to stay here in the real world when there are so many alternate ones in my mind. Hong Kong cinema rules in a major way. Seven Swords has to make it over here!
My job is not under control and it has never been under control. I'm in trouble with my car, I've been single longer than is healthy for anyone.
/end self sympathy.
I just need to kick things into gear. A few late nights here at work I
about having a blog that no-one reads is that you can rant about anything. Aikido and Iaido, both the arts themselves and the people involved, are the only things keeping me sane.
I'm just not that good at keeping everything going all at once. I am about to be fined £1000 due to a severe screw up in the car department. No insurance papers means no tax renewal possibility which means severe likelihood of being fined.
It's amazing that things like The Village (great film, take a look if you haven't already) don't happen more often. Getting away from all the paper work and the regulations and the money drains and you need a pass for this and a password for that and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. **tears hair out**
To go back to something closer to nature. Wake up, practise Aikido, eat, cook, fix the building, raise kids, read philosophy, grow your own vegetables, all that stuff. I would work. I'm not someone who just wants to lie down and do naff all, I just get confused by all the paperwork sometimes...
I will definately be getting a Bushido tattoo... my Iaido instructor has one on the inside of his arm.
aaaaggggh I cannot be bothered with work any more! I just want to pack it all in to live and work in a Dojo.
I would happily take on the responsibility of finances and maintenance and setting up courses just to avoid work right now.
Just imagine how heavenly it would be to have martial arts become your entire life.
Know when to ask for help. That's always been my problem. The thing is though I love the fact that you can come to Aikido every session and learn things. It's not that you dont need to try it's just that there is always stuff to learn... People are relying on you in certain ways but not in others. At work I never seem to improve, Imust have done but I seem to be so SHIT at organising searches at arranging informaito and avoid certain things for so long that I can't ask for help because it's too late and people will know that I'm not focusing properly.
yuk, I hate feeling like this...
I could do with a week away at a yoga/buddhist retreat.
My first real go at teaching a decent sized class. eek!
I once took a class when only 4 of us turned up and I was the highest grade (even at only 3rd Kyu) which went pretty well, even for a "right you're the highest grade" level of forward planning. This time though there was about 10 of us including M (1st kyu) and L (Sensei!).
It was a challenge from Sensei, to see if we could not only demonstrate but explain our chosen techniques. All the graded students had to pick a technique (and attack), teach it and then later go round the class whilst everyone was practicing and help out...
It was brilliant fun. Distinctly nerve wracking. Demonstrating, whilst a bit wobbly-leg inducing, is easier than having to explain things. "OK, so you, um step through, yes aaaaaand keeping the twist on the arm bend legs turn (keeping you centre down of course) and bring them down and pin them" "right anyone want to see that again? no? oh good. you do? urm, right OK where was I?" And so on...
And then going round the class whilst practicing. Yikes, how do they keep track of everyone?
L is a star. In previous generations you could imagine him being the Parish Priest going round and tending to his flock. He just has that kind of concerned way about him. It's not that R doesn't, he's just a bit fiercer and more obviously demanding.