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shhhhhh, don't wake me up, I think I might actually have done a couple last night. Re-reading Lan's comment about facing the action suddenly makes sense. Thank You Lan!!
1st Kyu = Koshi nage. help me *drowns*
Last night was a damn good start though. Even if I did get a hefty smack in the stomach from My. *pout*
I must get back to Iaido, I love weapons work, plus I want to order an Iaito before the Home Secretary bans them. I'm willing to bet that if you did a study you'd find out a hell of a lot more people are attacked with kitchen knives and other, more random, domestic appliances.
ooh ooh ... aand ... I was Uke last night!
Bring it on.
or: the Seven Samurai
ah hahahahahaha!!! *cough*
Hello. Did ya miss me?
On Wednesday night we took our first official step towards 1st Kyu gradings. There's going to be 5 of us making the jump with two people as chief Ukes.... Damn it's going to be a hectic 18 months or so. Sorry make that 9 months... eep!
L sat us all (by 'us all' I mean 'four of seven' as three peeps weren't there!) down and we had a big long speach about all of us or none of us, no man left behind, honesty in dealing with strengths and weaknesses and something about carrots.
So... seven members of the club bound up in our next external grading. I was so excited I was just hugging myself. oooh! it's going to be so much fun and a proper goal to aim for and all that good stuff.
My main problems as pointed out by L (and agreed with completely by yours truely) was weak Ukemi and having a centre that's up around my ears.
D has contributed his copy of "The Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the urban warrior" to my sanity fund and it is brilliant!! Finally I've got something about Taoism and meditation and getting a grip on my "inner street brawls" and my non-centred-centre.
sooo, for once this might actually become an Aikido Diary rather than a string of neurosis and boasting about other Martial Arts I've tried. Although whilst we're on that subject I attended a Kali Seminar last weekend. Brilliant stuff! Too scarey for me though, once was enough.
At least on the part of "Club Uke" anyway.
He is now a fully paid up mamber of the Dan Grade fraternity. Well deserved adn about time too
It was a looooooong day, Definately another Mooney grading, what with 27 people being put through their paces. The man from Reading asked why we weren't Ukes. Fear that's why!
(If I ever got the chance to time travel I would use it to go back in time and meet my 18 year-old self. I would kick her arse like nobodies business. Things like "you might think doing that task is scarey but there is NOTHING as scarey as wondering what you might have missed, what you could have done, how good you might have been, who you could have met and made friends with, why you didn't keep in touch", "mistakes are how you improve and learn"...all the usual self help stuff.) I've editted this three times to try and stop it sounding so naff!!
I wonder if I'd listen though.
I must volunteer to be UKE. Anyone who reads this has my permission to kick my arse if I don't. I've been loosing focus during lessons which doesn't help. I find that I've been kneeling down watching Sensei and then when he shouts tachi I can't remember what has just been shown. I'm off thinking about my house and about work and 100 other neuroses about things. I can remember the outline of what has been shown but not the details. So much for being a senior grade.
It was like a mass Mooney wedding, except for the throwing people around the mat aspect. Five people graded; two 5th Kyu; one 4th Kyu; two 3rd Kyu.
I was an average uke... as normal. It was pointed out how our now 4th kyu would have had a better time with more positive attacks! Ach well. One day, maybe in my next life time, I'll be good at Ukemi.
The depressing thing is it's all I want to be good at, the ukemi. If I can land well I can attack well and if I can attack well I can improve everything else.
If I'm not good enough for 4th kyu there's not a chance I'm good enough to Uke for a 1st Dan grading, but there's next to no-one else. Two of my fellow bluebelts are always away with their jobs and our previous successful Dan grade has a busted knee which leaves My, S and me. Oh well at least that's TWO good ukes!
Sensei gave us a talking to about positive thinking and that what you hold in your mind is how you will live. I wish I wasn't lazy by nature! It's bloody hard to be positive when the one thing holding you back is the thing you find hardest.
I MUST go to the Ki Society. I need the extra Ukemi practice desperately. I must get better than this... and there in lies the problem. I'm not talking about working hard or enjoying things or anything positive I'm just talking about "must do this, must do that." blah blah
If only the grading was in September, I might stand a chance then.
The fact that I spent all this morning with my head down a to
I have been living in my new flat for about 5 weeks now. I am going to have to become a budgetting goddess if I'm going to survive. I got a bank statement on Monday night shortly before Aikido. Surprisingly enough... I never made it out the house!
Being of a natural tendancy towards thinking "I can't do it" it was hard to read the article about how self-doubt should be the basis of all martial training and of Aikido in particular.
But I spend all lesson having to remind my self not to mutter out loud "I can't do this", "this isn't working", "I'm doing this wrong" I thought, how can an extra helping of self-doubt help the proceedings?
Reading DV's more detailed explainations in the discussions of the essay and musing over my signature (the bit that says "we see things not as they are but as we are"), a picture began to form in my head.
"No Mind" it's one of my favourite bits in The Last Samurai when Katsumoto's son tells Nathan Algren "too many mind ... no mind". Having been told this, the Algren character switches to instinct mode and his reactions improve immeasurably.
By listening to the strident voice shouting "of course you can't do it, this is wrong, you started too late, you've missed sessions you'll never be any good at this [add any number of negative statements here!]" I am listening to my ego. It's just not the ego as we would normally recognise it.
An egotist is normally a person who's seen as being all mouth (and no trousers ... matron). A person who doesn't listen, who ignores Sensei's way of doing things and generally acts as if they know everything already.
Truth is...why the hell would I be an Aikido Goddess on barely 4 hours a week for 6 ish years? Furthermore, by listening to my inner voices chipping away at my self conf
I knew this point would come. The one where my Ukimi skills are what hold me back. We got a talk about how we need to be able to fall for Nage to have confidence in their own abilities. I had some major "sack of spuds" moments last night. BANG! Down on my lower back...not painful but winded and a bit stunned... not to mention very embarassed.
L has been helping My with her breakfalls so I can't really ask him to help...hmmm... who can I con into helping me? Maybe my fellow 2nd kyus (apart from My). D! That's it... I will offer my services as a pack horse and head tea maker for when his company moves... in return for him throwing me backwards a few times and maybe walking up my spine with expertly trained hands ... matron.
I think what I also need to do is practise with another club. If I can find the Ki Aikido group then I will have a third practice session during the week. I don't know how they would feel about an outsider who is very much loyal to her previous sensei taking lessons with them but I KNOW it would help and I wouild do anything I could to help them... Less pressure to learn the breakfall means I might learn quicker and if there are any techniques that help...
I'm regretting moving further from Bristol... It would have been great to pop down there for the odd Saturday morning. I love my club but I'm starting to get less sure about the association we're linked with... Maybe I'm just attracted (in my usual moth-like way) to the brighter ligh
eep! Not last ever, but last before I move. It'll take me a couple of attempts to work out how to drive cross country from my new place to Devises!
Now... be upstanding for Ukimi/Uke practice, that's my new resolution. I was rolling like a demon on Monday that means I can do it again. grrrrr!
As I shouted at L on Saturday (through 3 pints of cider and the loudest folk band in Christendom) I haven't volunteered in the past in case I land badly and make them look bad (or some such nonsense). It then occured to me... again through my still slightly addled, post-cider, brain that maybe I should volunteer FIRST and that there's no better way to learn breakfalls than in extremis (or the nearest I'm likely to come to extremis anyway!)
Well... I don't feel any more wrinkly (admittedly I'm not looking too hard) and the purple blotches under my eyes are about the same size so no obvious signs of decrepitude as yet ! The Sunday blearyness was definately *hic* cider induced.
Spent most of last night's Aikido session as Uke for M our 1st kyu man who is going for his 1st Dan in April. He seemed a bit subdued, I think he might be ill. There was such an almighty crack from his knee when he did the final nikkyo pin on me I thought something had gone wrong.
It was fun being Uke, especially the weapons work. I took a serious beating... makes a change not to be placed delicately on the floor by M but to be hoisted up and thrown around. Some SERIOUS ukimi practice. There were occasions when I had NO idea how I landed. I will have to volunteer for Ukemi practice more often...