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This is something that Aikido has helped me develop.
Obviously it's not something you create out of thin air but due to insecurity and an over developed Taoist sense of going with the flow and not actually standing up for myself I have always tended to quash my instinct. This led to a lot of frustration and anger because my ignored instincts turned out to be right.
Aikido though has helped me in that if I can't see a way through one way there must be another way. If something feels right go that way rather than fighting against something.
HA! If only I'd taken up Aikido when I was 13 instead of 23 I'd be at this level at 19 instead of 29!
But you cant' start any sooner than today as my mum always says... And without her I wouldn't even have been this far so she must be on to something!
I am desperate to see Ong Bak (the noise has been impossible to avoid about this one) and Twilight Samurai (especially as it stars my favourite man from the Last Samurai) at the moment.
I saw both Unleashed (Danny the Dog was a much better title) and Fist of Legend on Saturday night, it was a serious Jet Li Fest. I felt sooo unbelievably happy after watching FoL. Seeing Jet do Kung Fu patterns had me clapping and cheering and then having to stop suddenly incase I woke my flatmate. My favourite scenes in The One were the parallel ones of him performing two very different styles of Kung Fu. I must search out a class.
It would be fun to see some films that involve more Samurai stuff. I havn't even seen any Akira Kurasawa (that's the Seven Samurai Director incase my bad spelling has rendered the name incomprehensible). Apparantly Steven Segal is an Aikidoka but for me he holds about as much charm as watching a brick wall. Jet Li can kick your arse hard as anyone but he makes you love him as well (or is that just me and my hormones again!?)
I am finding it hard to stay here in the real world when there are so many alternate ones in my mind. Hong Kong cinema rules in a major way. Seven Swords has to make it over here!
My job is not under control and it has never been under control. I'm in trouble with my car, I've been single longer than is healthy for anyone.
/end self sympathy.
I just need to kick things into gear. A few late nights here at work I
about having a blog that no-one reads is that you can rant about anything. Aikido and Iaido, both the arts themselves and the people involved, are the only things keeping me sane.
I'm just not that good at keeping everything going all at once. I am about to be fined £1000 due to a severe screw up in the car department. No insurance papers means no tax renewal possibility which means severe likelihood of being fined.
It's amazing that things like The Village (great film, take a look if you haven't already) don't happen more often. Getting away from all the paper work and the regulations and the money drains and you need a pass for this and a password for that and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. **tears hair out**
To go back to something closer to nature. Wake up, practise Aikido, eat, cook, fix the building, raise kids, read philosophy, grow your own vegetables, all that stuff. I would work. I'm not someone who just wants to lie down and do naff all, I just get confused by all the paperwork sometimes...
I will definately be getting a Bushido tattoo... my Iaido instructor has one on the inside of his arm.
aaaaggggh I cannot be bothered with work any more! I just want to pack it all in to live and work in a Dojo.
I would happily take on the responsibility of finances and maintenance and setting up courses just to avoid work right now.
Just imagine how heavenly it would be to have martial arts become your entire life.
Know when to ask for help. That's always been my problem. The thing is though I love the fact that you can come to Aikido every session and learn things. It's not that you dont need to try it's just that there is always stuff to learn... People are relying on you in certain ways but not in others. At work I never seem to improve, Imust have done but I seem to be so SHIT at organising searches at arranging informaito and avoid certain things for so long that I can't ask for help because it's too late and people will know that I'm not focusing properly.
yuk, I hate feeling like this...
I could do with a week away at a yoga/buddhist retreat.
My first real go at teaching a decent sized class. eek!
I once took a class when only 4 of us turned up and I was the highest grade (even at only 3rd Kyu) which went pretty well, even for a "right you're the highest grade" level of forward planning. This time though there was about 10 of us including M (1st kyu) and L (Sensei!).
It was a challenge from Sensei, to see if we could not only demonstrate but explain our chosen techniques. All the graded students had to pick a technique (and attack), teach it and then later go round the class whilst everyone was practicing and help out...
It was brilliant fun. Distinctly nerve wracking. Demonstrating, whilst a bit wobbly-leg inducing, is easier than having to explain things. "OK, so you, um step through, yes aaaaaand keeping the twist on the arm bend legs turn (keeping you centre down of course) and bring them down and pin them" "right anyone want to see that again? no? oh good. you do? urm, right OK where was I?" And so on...
And then going round the class whilst practicing. Yikes, how do they keep track of everyone?
L is a star. In previous generations you could imagine him being the Parish Priest going round and tending to his flock. He just has that kind of concerned way about him. It's not that R doesn't, he's just a bit fiercer and more obviously demanding.
As an Aikidoka you are meant to avoid confrontation and I do. If I'm honest though it's more because I dont have the arguing skills and am slightly scared than because I am strong and positive and above these things.
My friends and I met someone in a pub last night that had a distinctly right-wing view of all the recent London bombings and I really just wanted to give him a mental and verbal lamping.
Truth is rather than rising above I just wanted the knowledge of world politics, international relations, the palestine question an everything else inbetween to be able to argue him into the floor...is this bad??
I like the Bushido attitude of standing up for what you feel is right but I still feel as though I'm soooooooo far from being able to defend what I believe is right and being able to defend my corner that it seems unatainable.
Too many things on the brain there... I nearly forgot my password.
My brain is a big spicy soup right now. Too many things swilling round.
I have survived my second Iaido lesson, despite there being too many live blades being swung round in such a small space and in such a chaotic fashion. I'm impressed there aren't more be-headings.
One thing my Aikido has already bought to Iaido is the concept of ettiquette (can't spell!). I automatically thank my instructors for every piece of advice given. The Iaido instructor was obviously not used to it and kept taking the mick, "you aikidoists are so polite, I could get used to this"
I think my Roy would be proud!
One thing I do need to do is officially announce my taking up Iaido. At least two of my instructors know that I've started practicing but I want them to know for certain that it's as an extension of my martial arts experience not a replacement for Aikido...
coo. I'm normally quite good at the comedy stuff over at livejournal but over here I'm all serious and worthy, oh dear. If only I had the intellectual depth to back it up eh?!
Am considering getting a Bushido Tattoo. I've never seriously considered a tat before; too much pain for what? A picture that I will undoubtedly becoome bored of within a month.
Now though, Bushido is really starting to mean something to me and a bit of pain and a permanent symbol of it might make me pay more attention to life in general... What do you reckon? (She says, l
To add to my two LiveJournals and one Blogger I now have an Aikido blog thing... moi? waffley?
It's been six years now, crumbs. Least that's what it says on my little blue book. I seriously cannot remember my first Aikido lesson or how I started. I know mum was involved somehow but I just feel like it's always been there.
It's only now that something has clicked. I always knew I wanted to do a martial art and have tried Tae Kwon Do, Karate and Judo in the past. Fencing was almost there, but I knew I wanted the philosophy that comes with eastern Martial Arts as well. I loved scoring points in fencing though so I may go back to it... Non-competitve traditional Aikido just doesn't quite cut it!
Thing is, even though I've been doing Aikido for years, it's only since 2nd Kyu that a real passion for it has errupted.
I've realised now that Aikido will always be a part of my life... and that is no bad thing!