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Taking a lesson from Achilles and Socrates: no matter how profound our ability, we always have a weakness that renders it pointless; on the whole we are always more ignorant than not. It's easy to look at all the great things we know; to see how they fill up the proverbial landscape like a diligently crafted Japanese garden, only to miss the vast desert which lies just over the prettiest hedge.
Keiko today was a continuation of the "relax" theme that has permeated my small restart back into formal (more so, at least) Aikido training. Class was very small today: just sensei, a very senior student, the uchideshi, and myself. It was nice for me because I got a lot of very focused instruction. I felt bad for the other two students though, because training with me is so much about re-establishing very basic fundementals. It's like if I were to work on king-pawn endgame patterns in chess; I can see how it could be frustrating if you're hoping to work on the more complex opening and middle-game stuff. Add to that the usual sleep deprivation problems I've got and I can see how I might be a less-than-ideal training partner. I felt like my attention was not very focused around me because I was either feeling groggy or constantly trying to sense around in my body for cues. There were a couple times I could sense my partners looking at me like, "hey! I'm over here!" I used to feel very in tune with what was happing around me, but stepping back on the mat has shown me how much this has weakened over time.
At any rate, we had fun. The sun was shining so we went outside to play. I learned a new bokuto series and felt a little better with one of the other exercises we tend to practice. The transition from receiving to issuing after squeezing the elbows together felt clearer...this being the exercise we do from seigan where we wrap/supress our partner's blade,
This weekend I was fortunate enough to train at Dan's seminar although again in a limited capacity since I got sick and couldn't make it to sunday's morning session. I was really looking forward to getting more of a "full" experience, but despite that, I still feel I got my money's worth and then some. I was able to get some new bits to think about for taking out the slack and using the arms legs and spine of the body as inter-connected bows.
I was hoping to get to know some folks a bit better, but maybe next time.
I'm very greatful to Dan and sensei Ledyard for providing the opportunity to sample this approach to learning aiki. Both times have been fun and informative!
I'm looking forward to drilling in what I was able to pick up in this go-'round!
Thursday night was tough. I felt worse than usual in my ability to remember to relax, stand up-right, not lean into every technique, etc. Then again, every class is tough in the sense that I was never advanced to begin with and I'm a decade out (during which I worked construction) from when I last trained seriously. Also although I'm not exactly old, I'm certainly not 20 any more. I think part of why it was so tough was that no matter how much I tried to relax this or that part of my body, I kept mindlessly re-engaging those muscles and the more tired I got, the more I forgot to pay attention to whatever it was I was trying to do, so most techniques had a lot of herky-jerky start and stop to them. My auto-pilot sucks. It also didn't help that I'm chronically sleep deprived and was fried from too much coffee.
Now that I've described the empty half of the glass...
All in all, despite the mat burns on the tops of my feet, the sore muscles all around my hips and back, and the constant force-feeding of a mild form of humble pie, it was great fun. As usual, we began with the standard Kannagara bokuto practices before moving on to taijutsu. I got to train with the sempai I mentioned last, as well as another who I haven't seen in an even longer time. Yes, the training felt difficult, but it was helpful to focus my efforts in general...a kick in the butt to redouble those efforts.
Well I've been sitting on this post for a couple days and still haven't added anything so it is wha
Keiko on saturday was f-ing rad. I was so tired from being up all night with baby and 2-y/o but once we started warming up before bowing in, I perked up. I got to see one of my sempai who doesn't usually come to the thursday classes I've been attending lately. I'm a little bummed I didn't get a chance to train with him, but it was good to say hi in person and see him in action.
I first became interested in Aikido in high school after reading up on some martial arts. A friend of mine knew this and when he was asked if he wanted to check out an Aikido dojo, he asked me if I wanted to come along. This was some time in the mid 90's. I remember the visit vaguely, but I clearly remember watching this sempai training and being told he was about to take his gokyu test. When I began training in 1998 he was training as hard as ever. Now, in 2012, he's still training hard and is one of the senior deshi who often travels with sensei. After class we talked a little about some of the folks we remember training with. Right now I'm a little fixated on how much time has gone by, and while part of me certainly feels a degree of loss for how much I've let slip by, it's even more interesting just to sit back and observe the people who have kept at it with impressive dedication. It's also interesting to see the students who started after me and see a bit of how they've progressed.
As for keiko itself, in taijutsu we worked primarily on ai hanmi katate tori irimi ura kokyu nage, starting with
Last night keiko was a blast. I went in feeling a bit tense and tired. Sleep isn't my strong point these days. My 6mo. old still feeds at night and my 2 y/o woke up the previous night twice with a bloody nose. Then I had some work a friend of ours gave me working on landscaping with concrete blocks, which reminded my back of its nagging aches. The problem with irregular work is the body thinks it's in shape until after it's worked a few hours. I'm not complaining! I loved digging around outside in the good NW weather (a mild, gray drizzle). Still, I had the moment's thought of, "laying down would feel nicer than Aikido." I was wrong though.
I showed up and began warming up. My left-side lower back was barking at me so I focused on loosening that up. Rolling practice is one of the best ways I know to do this so I did that a little. It reminded me of when I trained before: I would always start with a ton of them, going as fast back and forth as I could. It gets the blood pumping and gets me thinking "round." One of my sempai who I had been training with a decade ago asked me to come practice some taijutsu with him and he helped loosen things up quite a bit more. Osae waza does wonders to tight muscles!
Sensei started class so we "warmed up" then started with bokuto as always. We began some negaeshiuchi then went to kiridome. One of the interesting things to me is how tired my feet get from kenjutsu, particularly when I haven't been practicing much. It was nice to feel more
I have a lot of different thoughts rattling around my head about my training, and most of them are half-formed. I think my posts here have tended to reflect this. Driving home last night from keiko I kept coming back to a handful of thoughts. The most prominent of these wasn't so much a cogent idea as much as a new way of looking at the proportion of thought-to-action I have been manifesting. I have been very "mind-heavy" in my "gyo" and it has led to a very "body-heavy" way of moving. "Intellectually," I've recognized how stiff I am; how tight my shoulders are; how my chronic body aches and injuries are a sign of improper integration of...something. I understood it on a more visceral level last night.
Part of the reason I've been so mentally caught up in this idea of Aikido is that it represents a means which appears profoundly useful to affecting great effects in how one can live one's life. It provides physical stimulation for a healthy body, mental stimulation for a healthy mind, and when approached with a serious attitude, it refines these things to a razor-like edge. It is a way of organizing different functions of the mind and body (i.e. mind-body) and developing them into higher orders of function. The pressures we put ourselves through are a kind of gravity drawing things together, cooking them into new transformations, drawing them together, transforming them again and again until we have something diamond-like...or ore-like dependiing on how much intensity we app
Lately I've been reminded of the time I was paired up with a nidan for randori and not only couldn't perform a single technique, but was stabbed repeated until he made sure I knew what we were practicing and said, "...randori." "Yeah...I know," was my thought, "I just suck that bad."