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Happiest of holidays to everyone! I love martial artists for their drive and passion; it's also what wears on me sometimes. Our strengths can be our weaknesses.
So, as I go into this new year I'm reminded of a lesson I regularly hear from my Sensei: the basic to Shinto is gratitude. I'm grateful for the many opportunities to learn; whether from the good things, the bad things, or even the ugly things...did anyone else hear that whistling sound? Anyway, what attracted me to Aikido is the concept of reconciliation...harmonization, if you will. On a personal level this means making my very different facets work in a more cohesive manner, both in terms of my mind and my body, which are themselves inextricably linked and continually influencing each other. This is "mind-body" as I understand it; the internals; that hidden portion of our training (intended or otherwise), the proportions of which shape every external manifestation in its own highly unique way.
Every day I struggle with different aspects of myself. When I was younger I was very good at finding indifference as a way of dealing with stresses. I could lock out my emotions and focus on the rational aspects of whatever it was I was facing. Over time though, I began to get the sense that I was becoming a rather cold person. I felt somewhat disconnected from the world around me and found that while I had a strong sense of dispassionate observation, it occasionally left me with a sense of being somewhat isolated from th
Reviewing the recent video of me taking jiyuwaza ukemi for Barrish Sensei, I've been trying to think about what's happening and why it seems like such a good practice to me (never mind the places that show specific mistakes). In the sense of opening up the body and having a fuller frame I think it can go pretty far. By exploring the meeting with and the nature of the connection with ( ) the expanding and contracting aspects of Sensei's structure, the mind/body dynamic familiarizes itself with things like ma'ai and establishing and reestablishing balance (which seems like it could be a kind of proto-kaeshi exercise in its own right), along with other ways the body gets in its own way.
At the moment of contact, invisible structural flaws can become a little more visible and adjustment is required to whatever extent it is possible, even if it seems at times impossible. At the slower speed of movement, I am able to perceive what's happening a little better and more quickly seek a better orientation of tension/posture; for me right now this tends to mean aligning the spine by sitting back more within my structure and relaxing where ever possible as much as possible.
Particularly as I get more and more tired, I as uke am simply trying to maintain structural integrity while maintaining positive pressure. I'm trying to keep my balance (gravitational and structural) as centered as I can perceive (looking inward while looking outward) while being twisted and stretched arou
Ahhh. Made it to keiko today. These last few weeks have been probably the most stressful and mentally challenging for me in some 14 years or so. I'm reminded of Chekhov's quote that any idiot can face a crisis; it's the day to day living that wears a person out...throw in some crises and suddenly things can seem bleak, to put it mildly. I was inclined to share details, initially, but I'm chosing to stick to my more comfortable mode and just give this gist instead. Suffice to say I've been feeling unraveled this last month or so and it's seemed to culminate these last few days. The part I'll share is that I've been missing keiko considerably, so it was good to address that issue directly.
It's been freezing, so the mats were hard, but considering all the stresses I've been feeling lately, they were a warm welcome. Apart from getting some jiyuwaza in with Sensei, I trained only with the newer students. It was mostly a case of happenstance (I turned and bowed to whoever was next to me), but when I have been missing keiko I do tend to feel self-conscious about training with the more advanced students, like I might be wasting their time. In retrospect, I don't think I should think this way. I may not be particularly good or caught up on the particulars, but I will learn quicker training with them. That said, I had a great time and feel like I got a lot out of training with the newer students like I did.
Sensei had us doing some different warm-ups than I remember: a slightly di
Well, it's been a busy last couple months. Attending preschool has proven harder for me than for my 4 year old. It's a co-op, so I have to take an active role, which I like (I love the principle), but it's been an adjustment for me. We have a hard time with finding a babysitter because I'm not very willing to let strangers into my home, let alone care for my kids...which are about as sacred as sacred ground gets. That all said, I am slowly shoring up my scheduling difficulties in that regard.
Keiko has been sorely missing. I can feel it in my body. I do some simple breathing exercises every day, but it's not the same. Also, I haven't been practicing them for an hour like I was before. A mixture of the change in weather and some good books, among other things, has created a lull, but I find the desire to practice better/more swelling again.
I thought I had more to say, but right now I'm distracted by the fact that my wife's grandma isn't feeling well at all; she's in miserable pain from the dehydration that can come with the flu...I will say this, though: seeing someone so sweet and bright with vitality in such constant pain brings a poignancy to mind for the real purpose behind personal development. If we don't learn, we're very much more at the mercy of happenstance; if we don't maintain our learning, same thing.
Take care, folks.
P.S. I'm going to begin daily Chinkon practice, starting today.