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Somewhere along the line I determined that if it felt like work I must be doing something wrong. It worked because I had so damned much energy and drive! It was a great way to promote efficiency, but with a lack of focus attached, it has also become a great way to simply be a lazy bastard. I wonder if this is something of a natural product of my youth, where energy came more readily and injuries healed without my helping them along. Was it Mark Twain who said youth is wasted on the young? Whoever said that wasn't exactly ignorant of this tendancy in many folks.
Now I am trying to find ways to make this work for me while working to be less lazy. I'm putting my bokken and jo out so it's convenient for me to pick them up; I'm telling my wife my grand plans so she will nag...er...remind me about them. These are short-cuts to the thing I'm looking to reclaim in myself, but I'm hoping they inch me close enough that it simply becomes convenient for me to kick my own ass and stop making excuses.
"Coincidentally," if I'm still talking like this in a few years, please feel free to nag...er...remind me that I'm still a lazy bastard who needs to step up his game.
...Not that this is the first time I've said anything like this. As in all things I suppose, time will tell. Now to get off this infernal machine!