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I went to class last night for the first time this month. I'm a bit sore today. It doesn't take long to get rusty and lose your fitness.
The weather's been crappy which is partly why I'm grumpy these days. My job really sucks right now too, also adding to my funk. I really doubt that I'm going to stick with this profession. It all seems like BS to me lately. I think it's just the combination of a very difficult and demanding client and a weasly consultant. My boss says it's not typical of what we do. Problems aren't being resolved without fingerpointing going on beforehand. Some people have no clue about teamwork.
Maybe I need a vacation. Maybe I need to train more. Maybe I should look into something else as far as my "profession" is concerned.
March 30, 2005, Winter Blues
If anyone else out there is looking into a career change I recommend a book called "What Colour is Your Parachute?" It was first printed thirty years ago and has been updated several times. It now includes internet resources for job hunters etc. etc. etc.
I ran into a friend of mine today. He hates his job too.
He thinks it may be Winter Blues.
Today has been better. The sun was out for a change.
Last night at class we did suwari waza. Shomenuchi ikkyo, nikyo and sankyo. Then we did shomenuchi kokyu ho. I was very rusty. The suwari waza techniques were on my test in December and I wasn't as fluid as before. Oh well, that's what happens when you haven't been training regularly.
Our instructor was the nidan with the injured back. He has a very intense look in his dark eyes when he's in the dojo. It's like he looks right through you. It used to freak me out. I think I have the look sometimes too, usually when I'm really focused. If I do that with a beginner they get this nervous look in their eye like I'm going to pound them.
The only time I was really nervous about training with someone was when I was at a seminar last year. I trained with a black belt that no one knew. He had this maniacal look in his eyes. When he'd throw me I felt like I'd been catapulted. He wasn't a large man, but he was all muscle and very powerful. I was very relieved when we got to change partners and from then on I stayed away from him. I noticed later that the majority of people were staying away from him.