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I find it strange that some people never seem to learn the first basic lesson of aikido which is to me: get offline! And that this means psychologically as well as physically. There really is little point in learning a complex and subtle martial art like aikido if one is simply going to retain that combative and confrontational attitude on the inside since that will rise to the forefront at the moment of stress.
Self control is a hard lesson indeed. And flexibility of the mind is an even harder thing to train sometimes than flexibility of the body.