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In about 3 months I am going to have to leave my dojo. However, to me it kinda feels like my sisay has kinda already left me. I keep trying to say that it is not just me, but it is becoming more and more apparent it is. He is not mean or unwilling to teach, but dose not expect as much as he used to and dose not seem to care as much what I do. Porhapsit is fase or something like that. I sure there is something I am failing to take into account, but prohas it is a good thing to becaue it will be eassyer when I do leave, I suppose.
That aside, I am not as connected to my dojo as I once was, but I still feel like good place to be. I suppoe it just that I ran into a not connced face , like ever relation ship goes throw that, I suppose. I still feel I am lurning a lot. I like the fact that Aikido or prohas my dojo lends its self to kinda safer place to practice life setions, thow different with much the same lesson. I am defently not sure I like too be tuched or have people come at me unexpectedly, but I lurning that while it is not something I am going seek out , I can know what I need to do when it dose occore. I also lurning that something don't deserver the fear they are given.
For instance, we often are told in my dojo not to give the naga 100% of our power to save 10% for ourselves. When we fear something we are given it 100%, so , my take is that in aikido as well as life that the saying give it your all is worng. You have to save some part of you for
So, We reutrun home for this weekend, feels good to be home in a open dojo and our good old sladdy mates. I walk in and a sppi says want to help me clean the mats I set my stuff down and do what she instructs me to do. Then others jump in, and so I go to what at my dojo is known as "my corrner" I like it becaue you can see most of the dojo, except for the main door. I stand there trying to figure out if there is anything I can do, but seems to be undercontrol. While standing there a person from last semmenar says "Hi! I rembber you from last year, Do you rember me". I noded. Then Santo waalks by and says" hi, Tara Marsh" and he exteds a hand, to wich I shake , while thinking how did you know my name?" He like its on your form. ( dugh , I should have known that). Then my sissay walks up and shakes my hand( unsual), not sure how to take that one ither. I see a few femmler people and many new faces. A grile walks up form Organ and intrudeces her self, more shaking hands. Thenn I hear clapling so we scamper on the mate and form 2 lines ( i am used to one), bow in. Then he leads us turow in jappans the warm ups. Then we do a teque wich my sisay says immdilty after we bow to snot Tara. So I go to him, he works with me , he had to remand me how to not fall with my hands back. I had issues with that tonight, mostly becaue i would 9get scared. We did a lot of new teques for me. Shinoga, something that respeled nequo but you went under the arm. I got to work wit