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Recently I have come to the relstion that I bult up walls to keep my fears out , and now not even a small grain can wege its self in.
I will start with confesing ...I hit rock bottom about 6 years ago, I was consumed in pain and confution, with only one way out. I found some energy(angile or somthing) came to me and stoped me. Wether this was in my head or real I will never know, I just felt a strong sorces of engery that took enoff of the clods away so I could see agin.
Along this time questions that were unasble by my church , begain arsing and the comounty I was in was not aiding them. I begin to shurch for some conction that I knew was missing. One when I was yonger I found in my chourch, I suppose some say I needed to nurthre my "spricrual" side. While I am not sure I know what that means exactly, I knew I need somehting. I surched from church, to church, to place of wership. All that I could get to or think of. I begin reading books and watching flims. I wanted that sence of peace that comes form a deep conction. I found more I lurnd the more questions I had, and the more discourged I got.
What had freed me now tryped me and consumed me. I was looking in a magizing for my local city and found a class called AIkido,I was always drwn to marsal arts , in that I find them intring, but not so into the vilance. My mom siad thow she dated a man once that told her it was the are of "geting the hell out of the way". I decided that it might be worth knowing, th